is this NOT considered cheating?

Question

edit: to those of you saying its none of my business anyway, THEY have involved me. i didnt wiggle my way in there for drama. she involved me by telling me her adventures and asking me what she should do about them, and HE has involved me by asking me to help him with the ring and setting up the  event as a whole. and at this point, i HAVE chosen to step away, because she wont listen to my advice and at that point its not my problem anymore. if i have to watxh my bestfriend completely ruin my other bestfriend, i guess i better just sit back and watch now...all i can do.
this is going to be a lengthy one, so buckle up. me (19F) and my best friend (19F) have been friends for 14 years and have been through THICK and THIN together. but recently she's been acting really awful and it makes me wonder if its even healthy to be around her anymore.
basically....
she's always had a really flirtatious personality. and i mean extremely. there isn't a single male friend of hers or ours that HASN'T liked her and confessed that to her at some point, (i WISH i was exaggerating.) So as you can guess, she became very used to the male attention and she craves it like crazy. this wouldn't be such a problem if she weren't in a 4 year  committed relationship where the guy (also one of my long term close friends) has disclosed to me that he's... well... thinking of getting her an engagement ring.
within the past 3 or 4 months she has had MULTIPLE encounters with males that i very highly consider cheating. one of the times was with a guy she's had a crush on for years.. they were meeting up in secret at public events JUST to talk privately together, he took her to get ice cream which she called "an ice cream date", they held hands that same day, AND he kissed her on the top of the head before they left eachother for the day. ahe then proceeded to tell me that "he is everything I've ever wanted in a man, and i swear i will do whatever it takes to be with him one day." keep in mind this guy ALSO ... has a girlfriend. he then promptly ghosted her for his deployment and when he came back he was RIGHT back to it, but she had lost interest and was no longer mad at her BF, so she no longer needed attention from another guy. her boyfriend never caught on and was never told. 
NOW... shes got this new job and this new coworker. this guy is a total idiot imo. and she talks about him non stop, all the time. then they started spending their lunches together, then they got the guys best friend to join them for dinner after work, and they bring eachother drinks in the morning, and go get gas together, all of that.  THEN... she tells me that one night while hanging out after work, he kissed her. and she didnt tell him to stop, and she didnt tell him it was wrong, but ahe didnt necessarily kiss him back either. she said she felt nothing from it and that it wasnt a big deal. and i was DUMBFOUNDED.  i told her that it was wrong, REALLY wrong that she didnt stop him or tell him that "thats not okay" and i told her that if she didnt tell her BF, then i would. she said she didnt understand why it was such a big deal and this is something that should just be swept under the carpet like the military guy. but i convinced her to tell him after trying to explain how unfair this is to her BF (especially me knowing that he got her a ring and is going to give it to her for their anniversary within the next week or 2).
the boyfriend forgave her for two main reasons he says:  she wasnt trying to hide it and was honest with him and told him (which she wouldn't have done if i hadn't made her) and the other reason being there was no romantic context behind it for HER, and it was just a joking manner. now idk about you guys but i dont think I've ever kissed someone as a joke. in fact, he said he wanted to MEET the guy and become friends with him so they can have a bond of "mutual respect".  is that not just??? naiive? 
on top of all of that.. she's got this guy that we've both been friends with for years that is now single, and she told me she still wanted to get with him to fuck, and that if she could get away with it, she would. 
she says she wants an opwn relationship because she's bored, she says that if her BF gives her a ring she's not going to accept it, and that she wants to make sure that this is who she wants so that she doesnt end up like her mom (parents were highschool sweethearts, mom cheated on dad).  but she ALSO says she doesnt want anyone else but her BF in her life, and that she planned on marrying him after her boot camp training anyway.  so can someone please tell me... am i in the wrong for telling her that she's fucking up big time? is this really a NORMAL thing that happens in relationships? her BF says he's fine with her flirtatious personality, but he also doesnt know the full truth of what she's done, said, etc. and i absolutely hate to see someone I've spent practically my entire life with treat people with such disrespect. its SO HARD TO WATCH!!!

Answer

Idk about the other comments but the fact that she doesn’t know what’s right and wrong and how she clearly states she would literally fuck someone else is messed up. It’s one thing to flirt but openly saying you would physically cheat and just act like it’s something normal?? Nahh huge red flag. Instead of communicating what she wants to her bf she does things in secret. It’s pretty clear the bf doesn’t know what’s going on and only knows about her “very flirty personality”. I know ppl say it’s not your business but the bf is literally thinking about proposing to her while she’s thinking about having sex with other ppl. You can save someone from an even worse heartbreak and potentially a waste of money, seriously talk to your friend about it so she can either communicate with her bf about what she’s done and what she wants and they can figure it out, or just leave the situation and eventually have to deal with some kind of problem that stemmed from her behavior. She says she wants him and that he’s everything she wants but was quick to find another guy just bc she was mad. She’s obviously not sincere and committed…RED FLAGS ARE EVERYWHERE

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People blaming you for being involved seem convinced they're right, but you're being a good friend. Too many "friends" let horrible things happen to their buddies--things that could have been avoided. I think giving her the chance to be honest with him before you tell him was the right choice. That way it doesn't seem like you're being spiteful or messy. You should probably find out what he expects from the relationship with her since you were asked to help him plan. If he is okay with her consistently cheating, that's his choice. But if he wants a committed relationship, I think as a good friend you could tell him he needs to talk to her about his expectations before he gets hurt more in the future. Too many couples don't communicate their expectations before getting married and end up hurting each other. They're both good friends of yours, so I understand getting involved to a certain point. Once you've tried and nothing works, I would stop

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You've given her advise and that's all you can do as a friend. Let her make her own mistakes in life and be lesson's for her. As a friend you continue to tell her what you perceive as wrong and leave it at that, not much else you can do.

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What it is, is none of your business. He knows her, they have been together and he knew her before. Let them establish their own relationship. They will create and keep their own relationship boundaries.

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Whether it’s cheating or not depends on the boundaries they agreed upon. Just because you think it’s cheating doesn’t mean they do. He clearly doesn’t have a problem with it, so why do you?

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Its absolutely none of your business.
He clearly isn't an idiot or in the dark about how she is. Its up to her to talk about what kind of relationship she wants and she has ever right to say no to his proposal.

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I understand why you are upset, but you might be getting a bit too invested in someone else's relationship & life. Of course she is your friend and you care, I get that, but she's got some things to figure out on her own, you can't control how she feels about relationships. 
I was about to say she probably shouldn't be in a committed relationship- but it sounds like she knows that, and wants something where her desire to explore and not be tied down would be alright. 
And seeing her boyfriend's really chill response, yeah that might happen for her, but that's their choice, that's his choice. Not everyone is going to be monogamous, and if they have as much trouble keeping their mind on one person, they shouldn't be, because that's when you hurt people, when you don't know yourself & don't know better and act like you can be super faithful. It sounds like, for whatever reason, she's not there, and no, cheating isn't acceptable, but they both are very young. 19 year olds barely know themselves half the time, so I can understand why she might hesitate on lifelong commitment when she's clearly already having a harder time being committed. She shouldn't pretend she's ready to do that when she's not. 
At the same time, I completely understand your concern for him, you don't want him to get hurt, and it's good that she was honest after you threatened her 🙃 I think that at least prepares him. But a lot of people, especially young, do talk like that, like multiple people etc. 
And I think all of those are borderline cheating, but not really? The first one is lite emotional cheating at worst. The second one, is up for too much debate since she didn't really kiss back/didn't really stop him... that's confusing tbh. The third thing is honestly whatever, she said she'd cheat, but she didn't actually do it, and she might not. 
Perhaps you should distance yourself from this situation, and ask yourself what about it is bothering you so deeply? Are you afraid for them to get hurt? Are you losing respect for your friend, and why? Are you upset because she has a great guy and takes it for granted? 
Honestly, to keep everyone from getting hurt it might be best to encourage her to have the open relationship conversation with her partner. He'll know what he needs to know, and she'll have to really evaluate her options based on his response.

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Feel like this is a little kidish if you ask me 😕

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So while it's inappropriate, no I wouldn't consider it cheating. And if her partner is a long term friend and he knows what she's like, then he needs to accept her for who he is or end the relationship with her. Some people are flirty by nature.

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Your too deep into it. It’s really not anything to do with you, sad though it is. You need to get a life! And stay in ur lane...for sure.

is this NOT considered cheating?

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