Need some advice.

My husband's side of the family all live on the east coast. We haven't visited them since our kiddos were born (2.5 and 10 months old). They have come to visit sever times, but they're older and retired.

Last April we made his stepmother the godmother of our youngest. I love her so much. She's my favorite family member of his. Haha. Two weeks later she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been fighting it since. Devastating.

We had decided we should go visit them for Easter in 2022. We want to see them. We don't know how much longer his step mom will be around, because they never really give us a prognosis. She tells me how she feels day to day, but never gives me the bigger picture.

Well, we started discussing logistics. We can't and won't fly. It's a 20 hour road trip. It would likely take us 3 days each way. SIX travel days! With two young children. Sleeping in strange places. It would be misery. We started to think it was a bad idea. THEN we found out I'm pregnant. I will be 23 weeks when we would be traveling.

I feel like we can't go. But my husband keeps saying, "You have to decide. But this might be the last time we ever see her."

I feel like it isn't fair. Be convinces me the trip would be miserable, and then says it's up to me, but also I will be deciding if we ever see her again AND I need to be the one to tell his parents!

I think we need more information regarding the prognosis. The problem is, it will be even more difficult to travel once baby #3 arrives.

Thoughts? This feels so impossible.

Edit: We can't fly. Logistically, we have tried in the past and it failed terribly. Also, it's very very expensive to fly to SC. Additionally, we will not mask our kiddos.

We had a really bad road trip for vacation this summer. It still haunts us. It was only 4.5 hours and was miserable. I can't imagine disrupting my kiddos' schedules and trying to drive 13 hours with them. I would like to keep their schedules as normal as possible. They are both sleep trained and do well, so we don't want to ruin that.