he cheated but yet he’s mad at me

i’ve been w my boyfriend for over 2.5 years now. we have a 1 year old together. i’ve caught him doing stuff before but i tried to tough it out for the sake of our son, which unfortunately isnt how it works.

the night of christmas eve, he told me he went through my phone while i was in the shower and i just said okay but in the back of my head i found it odd. i leave my phone around everywhere, he knows my password, etc. so it gave me a weird feeling he checked my phone out of his own guilt. so on christmas morning, i checked his phone and i saw that he had been talking to a girl he’s always referred to as a “friend”. she knows we are together and that we have a kid. she follows me on instagram and added me on fb. i’ve never had an issue with him having girls as friends because i was trusting that they were completely platonic like he made it seem. well it wasn’t. i found a message on snapchat to her saying “i want you” and it was saved. it was on nov 18th which was when he was out of town and he drinks a lot when he goes out of town so i assumed it was a drunk text. on nov 22nd i went into planned parenthood for a pill abortion so he had sent that to her when i was pregnant w our second child that we mutually agreed we were not ready for.

when he woke up, he immediately knew something was wrong and i told him what i found and that i already sent the proof to myself so that he couldn’t deny or delete anything. he told me that he wasn’t gonna have this conversation on christmas. i wasn’t trying to argue but i wanted answers. he wouldn’t give me any. he’s been ignoring me since i told him i saw it.

so today since it’s not christmas, i asked him if he had anything to say to me and he said “what would i have to say to you?” and i said “so you get to tell another girl you want her and you’re mad at me for it? i had to find stuff in your phone and you can’t even say sorry or give me some sort of explanation?” then he just goes “mhmm” and started ignoring me. i’m at my widths end with him so being ignored in a time of hurt i was ready to snap. if he hadn’t been holding our son, i probably would have punched him. i was in tears, just wanting answers and he just ignored me and wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. then he said “i don’t remember saying that to her and idk why i would” and i said “it’s probably because you were out of town and drunk” and once again he just said “mhmm yeah” so i went into the bathroom and just broke down. i’ve tried to stick through what he’s done to me and i’ve gone to therapy and it didn’t help and i’m just so done. the fact i was going in for an abortion in 4 days and he was telling another girl “i want you” is just unbelievable to me. i’m so heartbroken and we have atleast a foot of snow and it’s supposed to snow all week so i’m stuck and can’t go anywhere because my family is 2 hours away and i feel so alone. i’m so mad and hurt and i can’t go anywhere, idk what to do.