Another child?

Question

Hello, I am coming here because I truly don’t know where to turn. My husband and I have a 9yr olds (my stepson) and a 2 yr old together. We have always struggled financially but God has always provided. I have wanted another child but recently started to doubt if that was even possible with everything happening in our lives. He was adamant that he was done and didn’t want another. Recently he had Covid and after coming out of quarantine he has been begging me for another. I don’t think it’s a good time because of finances and whatnot. He keeps telling me that God will provide but I have reservations. I don’t know how to pray about this or how to know what is right. Do I get my iud removed and just let go and let God? I just don’t know. 😞

Answer

I think do it. Having 3 kids is not as dumm as many people like to put it. It is not like u are having the 15th! 
I was once in this situation when my husband suddenly wanted our first and i felt we were not there yet. We were both students. I refused for months and he kept asking politely after dropping it for weeks. I wanted us to have stable jobs and a home, a 5 year plan in emergency funds etc. Well i prayed about it. I realised i was refusing because i felt i needed to have things figured out instead of trusting God. I remember how scared i was to get off birth control. I literally asked God that i will trust him, and submit to my husband in obedience to Him,God. and if he thinks it is a bad idea, he should close my womb and make me infertile until it is time. But that if he will be with me to help me with this child, then he can bless me with a child. And guess what, i got pregnant first time i had sex without birthcontrol in the 5 years of our marriage. And guess what, my husband got a good part time job when i was 3 months pregnant. On tough days, i always remembered that i only have this baby because God is with me. Otherwise he wouldnt have given a baby if he wasnt planning to be with me. I prayed, he answered. And gave me peace about getting pregnant. Over time, even covid became a blessing in disguise, through home school, i was able to do my uni at home with my baby. All things work together for good for those who love the lord. My husband was pursuing his phd in medicine and i my first degree in civil engineering. We are planners, academicians, thinkers and disciplined so a stupid mistake like an unplanned child that we couldnt provide for was a big leap of faith. 
We wanted 2 kids. But my boss told me one thing that stuck to me (was working parttime in an engineering firm as i studied). "Every child that God has planned has a right to live."
Yes, in this day and age, we control birth of children even beyond the will of God. Yes it sounds good to say we should use our brains to make choices and it sounds foolish to just say God will provide but isnt that what the bible says? His ways are foolish to the world.  This idea of planning and controlling everything actually reveals a lack of trust in god. Is there anything too hard for him? He drops manna from heaven and feeds 5000 with 2 fish. God calls us to trust him even if we dont see a way. Did abraham know where he was going when he was called out of his home land? Or did it make sense to walk off to the desert with no destination in his mind? No. Yet his faith was accounted to him for righteousness. It also reveals an arrogance and pride in our character for thinking we have everything under control. Trust me am a thinker. I want to plan everything and i have lived most of my life by plans, some of which i made as a child. Humbling and submitting when it doesnt make sense doesnt come easily to me. Yet am beginning to learn that control is an illusion. To have that child like trust. I could go on and on about so many scriptures that talk about this but my comment is already too long  
Pray about this. Listen to his voice. If you still have the desire or your husband has the desire to have another child, maybe God has really put it there. And you dont have to look at the storms of the world to help you make that decision. Even someone that plans, cant truly guarantee tomorrow. Our security is only in walking by the will of god.

Answer

As far as money goes Gods provides but he also gives us brains.  If you cant afford children then dont have them.     But also we (myself included) sometimes spend money in ways that can be stopped.  You dont have to have a car payment you don't have to have a brand new phone and pay 100$ a month for one.   You dont have to eat out etc so if you can cut down on extra expenses you might can afford another child.   Look at what your monthly costs would be for a child and look at your budget then look where you could cut spending.   For me another child is far more important than frivolous spending but for some it isnt which is fine.

Answer

I think its a good idea to sit down and take a realistic look at finances and your current obligations and see if it is close to feasible. I believe in God providing but he also wants us to use the sense he gave us. If its a super close margin i would maybe pray and consider it but its not a decision i would make without these discussions and adequate gameplanning.

Another child?

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