Update post fr yesterday.

I made a post yesterday about my ex leaving me while pregnant a few months back , no contact for months. I lost our child 2 weeks ago at 16 weeks and have been depressed as fuck so you know I was filled with good emotions seeing him send me a friend request on fb. I know I shouldn't have felt better because he's the one who caused the pain but I did and seeing as it was his child to I just wanted to be close to him and honestly wanted to try to repair things. Well after a lot of you on here told me to just block him and keep moving on I did the complete opposite👊🏼🥺 I literally went to his house this morning , things were great we were smiling and talking, went and got breakfast even. Well he kept hugging me , touching my ass and offered a massage I declined and I'm glad I did. After all of this we somehow get on topic of the past and he clearly stated he does not want this anymore with me. I'm so tired physically and mentally don't have a clue why he'd think it's okay to touch on me and make me feel good to say he just wants to be friends. I don't feel like a fool because I can't help my love and sincere feelings I've always had for him, but I am broken all over again.it really broke my heart to know I mean nothing to him but he still wants to dangle me around like a puppet. Even said he only added me on fb because he post funny stuff? Idk I feel like he's enjoying knowing I want him this bad and he's rejecting. How can I start the process to kick this shit ? I really just couldn't even look at him when he said he just wants to be friends, I stared so silently with tears coming out of my eyes and just walked out of the door . It's to the point it's consuming my mind , my sleep and eating schedules are bad and I'm a mess mentally just want to stop thinking about him