Getting back with ex/boyfriend

So my ex and I were together for 3 years and other than higher emotional intelligence he is perfect for me. We never had any issues but we broke up in July because I just felt like we spent too much time together and were too attached/dependent. For me, I just wanted more space to live my life and be young and free (we got together when I was 21 and he was 23). We didn’t talk for a few months but since then we’ve talked, hung out, hooked up, etc. and he always wants to talk about getting back together. However, we’re long distance rn and I just found out that he’s entertained other people in the months that we weren’t talking (flirting, taking people out). I also went out a few times but for me ANY sexual activity would be a deal breaker but he says “he knows that” and nothing happened. I feel like it’s SOMETHING else I have to get over on top of already feeling smothered.

I just don’t know what to do and would love to hear other people’s thoughts preferably women 30+ because I just don’t want to waste my time or potential in a relationship. Like I ended it for a reason but on the other hand there weren’t any major issues in the relationship.