Sexually frustrated

Ive been with my boyfriend about 3 years now and he can't make me orgasm. His hands are too rough, his tongue just doesn't do it for me and his penis is small. Basically all that's left is using toys, we have a few but he doesn't ever get them out to use on me unless i bring it up. I enjoy them if used the way i want but he isnt very good at that either. I love him so so much but I'm so frustrated. The last few nights we've had sex after he cums he goes to sleep because he says I won't cum anyway. I just feel like he's not putting in the effort that I need. Another thing is I have tried a few times to bring up the topic of kinks but he doesn't really seem interested in talking about it. There's a few things I think would make it more exciting for me but he's not paying attention. I don't mean to make him sound bad, because he's a very good person and boyfriend but when it comes to sex things are just not good. I'm not good at talking about stuff like this, I get awkward so I'm sure part of it is me not clearly communicating my needs. Sorry it's so long but does anyone have any tips on how to fix this?