Is my husband right?

Question

My 13 month old is learning to walk and loooooves exploring the world around him. I have NO problem hovering over him when we are out in public making sure he stays safe while letting him explore the outdoors! I have the energy and I think he needs it. My husband and I rarely get opportunities to enjoy the outdoors together as a family with our active son. This morning, we grabbed a coffee and I wanted all of us to walk around our neighborhood. My husband wanted our son in the stroller. When my husband put our son in the stroller He cried at first and when I took him out my husband got mad and said he has to learn to be inside the stroller. I’m so annoyed! I know moms have their kids in strollers all the time and that’s cool but is it wrong of me to want him to explore and tire himself out even if it means a little extra work on our part? Why does my husband think I’m wrong in taking him out of the stroller when he cried?

Answer

I would say both are right. It's important that the kid gets to explore, but also know that at times it's best to sit in the stroller - either of practical or safety reasons. And it's important that the two of you agrees on this so your kid doesn't learn that if dad says something you just come running and "overrules" whatever he said.

Answer

We have stuff like this sometimes too.
Perhaps part of why he’s mad is that you ‘overruled’ his (parenting) decision. That would be the part that would bother me, not necessarily the exploring vs stroller thing. As to the latter, I think it would be useful if your kid learns both and accepts the stroller as good as possible in (future) cases necessary

Answer

My husband and I have arguments like this too. I’m more laid back and he’s definitely somewhat stricter on our kids. For example, I don’t mind the little one sitting in the booth with me, or on my lap, while at a restaurant. He wants her to sit in the high chair because he thinks it’s teaching her that she’s entitled to sit on my lap and play with my food. I see his side, he sees mine. In every relationship where both parents are heavily involved in raising the kids, there are gonna be things disagreed on. Just talk to him and empathize with his side of things. You guys can discuss tentative situation-based « rules » for stroller vs walking, etc.

Answer

We have a rule that's either you walk and hold someone hand or you get in the stroller.
Kids crave some independence. Therefore most prefer to walk until they get too tired. Use the walk to burn some energy of the kid! Seems silly not to! 😊

Answer

We would take our daughter on the stroller until we were in a trail or park and let them explore there where there wasn’t cars passing by. 
Now that she prefers to walk more we are teaching her to look around and when there’s a car coming we all sit on a curb and wait for the car to pass by.
I think definitely find a middle ground so both of you can feel validated and there isn’t any over ruling in the decisions made by either of you.

Answer

Why didn't you explain yourself at that moment? Your husband said why he wanted LO in the stroller. So explain to him why you're okay with him not in the stroller. Communicate your reasoning so you can BOTH parent your child.

Answer

Start in the stroller and find a stopping spot to let him out to play and explore for awhile then put him back in.

Answer

You could look into getting your LO a harness. I know some people joke that it’s like having a dog on a leash - and maybe they’re right, I mean it works the same and serves the same purpose. But so be it! 
My fiancé and I take our 3 yr old on walks on different trails. Most are often pretty dense and if our son were to take off into the woods, who knows if we’d be able to catch up to him before we lost him. I listen to a lot of true crime and I’ll never forget listening to an episode about a 2 year old boy who went on a hiking trail with his older sister and about 10 adults that broke up into two groups, and both groups lost sight of the child, he ran off presumably, and was never found. Call me paranoid, but that made the decision easy for me. I’d rather have my son harnessed and “leashed” to me to keep him safe, even if it means people pass judgement when they see us strolling along. But it’s great. I don’t have to worry about him getting away and he doesn’t have to be confined to a stroller. He can get some exercise too! I found mine on Amazon for less than $20. Bunch of cute different animals to choose from. His is a blue and green dinosaur, it wraps around him like a backpack, and has two different kind of “leashes”. One attaches to the harness and you just hold it like a leash, and the other is a wrist band so you don’t even need the harness. Instead of holding hands and your LO slipping away, the end that goes around the child’s wrist locks so it can’t be unbuckled without the key, which is attached to your end and both ends fasten like a clip.

Answer

So my husband and I walk around our neighborhood multiple times a day. We’ve taken our son on walks around our neighborhood since he was a few days old. 
We let him out of the stroller before he was fully walking on his own (holding his hands). We’d bring the stroller so he could sit if he got tired but all in all, we let him out as much as he wanted. 
He’s 2.5yo now and has learned a ton of safety skills. He runs to the grass when he sees a car, he stays with us on the walk, he’s great at riding his bike safely and appropriately. 
I’m a firm believer in letting your child run and explore while teaching them what’s ok and what’s not. 
You’ll have plenty of opportunities to have your child sit in a stroller in public settings but I think they should have free reign in the neighborhood to walk when they want.

Answer

This sounds like my husband and I. We both have completely different upbringings, he’s an only child whereas I’m one of ten. We have different ways of parenting, sometimes I’ll be laid back and him strict and vice versa (depending on what it is)

Is my husband right?

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