I feel overlooked a lot

Hey! I’m 25, in college, battling with OCD, anxiety, and depression. All my life, I was overlooked by peers. I didn’t have many friends and was teased. I was always rejected, picked last, or forgotten. It’s strange because I present myself now as outgoing and friendly. I’m still overlooked and not anyone’s “ideal” person. Everyone chose my younger sister (2 yrs apart) over me and was always considered the odd one out or uncool. I’m extremely slow and she’s smarter than me.

I don’t understand what it is about me. I’m nothing special and I feel like I shouldn’t be here anymore. It’s stupid that I even care what the world thinks but I can’t help it at all. Apart of me loves my entire being and thinks I’m pretty magical and wish people saw that beauty but no one notices. I’m just “bleh” to people.

I feel so alone and bland.