Crisis or am I overreacting?

Question

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 6 years. We started fertility treatments about 4 years ago and it’s been a stressful, emotional, frustrating roller coaster ride. Every month, something seems to go wrong but this week is the farthest I have been able to get in the process when all the stars are finally aligning to get my first IUI treatment done. No cysts, successful ovulation, clean eating… etc tomorrow is the day I have been working so hard towards for all these years! But I notice my husband was acting a little stressed out and distant tonight so I ask him what’s up and he opens up to me and tells me that he doesn’t want to go through with the IUI tomorrow. WHAT? 
He says he’s scared to have a baby, which I understand. But why now ? after all these years of being “excited” to have a baby with me. After all these years of TTC and appointments after appointments and I just stabbed myself in the stomach with this trigger shot and now you want to tell me you’re not ready? I’m almost 31 years old and am I being cruel for feeling like he has been wasting my time? After several years of trying and  you’re not ready now, who’s to say you’ll ever be ready? I feel betrayed and I am so hurt, am I overreacting?

Answer

My husband and I went through IVF and it is quite stressful. The ups and downs of it were testing, and I'm sure it has not been easy for you both. Has anything changed during those periods? It could just be stress alone but don't rule out that there's more to the story of suddenly not wanting kids after trying through additional means for such a long time.
I don't want to put doubt in your mind but I'd question his sudden change and ask if there's anyone else in the picture. 
If you want kids and he doesn't, this may be where you discuss what that means for your future. You may have to make a difficult decision if you cannot picture life without children.

Answer

I get what he means. It is scary, it's scary that all the years and years will be coming to a head and it may or may not work out. It might not mean that he's not interested in having kids, it's just scary. I also flip flop between OK this sucks that we can't have kids, and yeah no I don't really want them anyway.

Crisis or am I overreacting?

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