My heart is heavy right now. I’ve had three miscarriages in the last year. I’ve done so much work with my nutrition, addressing hormonal needs, losing weight, and mental health/personal care. My cycles have regulated, but I have short luteal phases. So getting pregnant is challenging enough, though we obviously manage it every few months. I started my period last night.

I know these feelings will pass, I have PLENTY to focus on and distract me. But every once in a while, the feelings of missing pieces of my family and heart are just so heavy. So I wanted to start a gratitude post.

I am grateful that my daughter is finally communicating to me about her potty needs. I love her stubborn, independent attitude.

I am so grateful at the wonder with which my son explores the world, especially our new little two-acre escape from the world.

I am indescribably grateful that my husband and I are now new homeowners. All the work we do here will be purely for the benefit of our growing family.

I have loved watching the hard work my husband has put into finding and processing wood on the property for firewood, our biggest source of heat.

I’m grateful for the wonderful dogs our puppies are growing into. They love their home, and our babies, and usually listen really well, haha.

I love my mother-in-law, who is stuck with us and unable to go home to Samoa due to the pandemic. I learn so much from her, and love how much my children are learning from her.

I am falling in love with the darkness and the quiet of our new home, and how much more we are aware of, that isn’t drowned out by the noises and lights of the city we just moved from.

We are so blessed. I love my life. And I know all will work out. It’s ok to feel what I’m feeling. I just don’t want to be so distracted by it that I forget everything else.

What about you?