I thought I was over it.

You get tired, you know. After so many years, so many tests, so many appointments. You get tired, the little shred of mental self preservation you have left tells you "you know what? Kids are a hassle anyway. Screw it, be happy with just you and your husband and your dogs."

It just makes it easier to process that way. Process the monthly disappointment. Process the monthly guilt and feeling of uselessness that you just cannot have a child.

But when, when you see yet another one of your friends announce a pregnancy, all the emotions just come rushing back. The jealousy that it's not you. The anger at your body. The desperation as your biological clock literally ticks away. The frustration that your journey is taking so long before you have results. The embarrassment that you are such a useless woman.