Could you stay married to your husband if you didnt like his career choice? please read

Question

I'm so in love with my husband I've been married to him for 10 years together for 11 years hes my absolute best friend. 2 years ago he took a new career path that he absolutely loves. I supported this career change because I knew how much he wanted it. But in the last 2 years I've come to find out that I'm not happy with it, he works a ton of hours (graveyards shifts, weekends and holidays) hes a first responder so he has no choice on the hours he gets stuck with. I love him to pieces I just find myself very sad and lonely. Our schedules are just to opposite as I also work a full time job, and even though we try to plan things to do on his days off like date nights (which sometimes he only gets one day off) its just not the same and as soon as he goes back to work I get sad and sort of depressed again. I need my best friend back. I try and keep myself  busy with hobby's and friends/ family we also have a daughter but at the end of the day I'm not happy cause I want him next to me enjoying each others company like before. I would never ask him to quit his dream job, I just dont know how to get my happiness back 😞
Unfortunately he's not able to request a different shift.

Answer

I think you both should sit down and see if there are any reasonable solutions. Can he try to request  day shifts. Maybe his job will rotate his shifts. But tbh…. I read in a marriage book that understanding the “due paying” years is critical. Its a time in marriage where one prtner or both may be career focused for the betterment of the family and it will require one person to be heavily invested in the job for the families sake. During this time u may not get the emotional or mental stimulation but understand that at this time financial security is just as important to keep the family afloat and it requires understanding that. 
    Nonetheless… you can explore other solutions like i said maybe him at least making a request or even potentially exploring another location that may be hiring.

Answer

Wow I feel you. Marriage is an everyday compromise fortunately and unfortunately. I pray God leads your family with love grace and wisdom. I also pray he clears up where there seems to be conflict. In Jesus name

Answer

I would sit down and talk to him, let him know how you’re genuinely feeling.

Answer

My husband is a police officer and absolutely loves his job. He wouldn’t do anything else. Some days I absolutely hate it, I wish he was never a cop. But seeing how much joy it brings him, makes me happy for him. Sure we’ve had to make sacrifices, but you make it work.

Answer

Have you thought of a career path / changing your schedule? Maybe that is a start.. or you can have 1 day of overlapping time.. maybe switch a shift with someone, or try to work overtime.. it can work..

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Yes. My husband is an over the road truck driver & only home on weekends leaving me alone with our 4 kids for most of the week. Its very hard. We've had countless conversations about it but the conclusion we come to is that I knew what i was getting myself into when we agreed on it. 🙄 He is very helpful when he's home though & a good husband in general so I'm obviously not going to leave. Eventually he'll be able to take more time off so I'm just hanging on.

Answer

I completely get where you’re coming from! My husband is active in the military. Since September 2020 we have seen each other in person for 2 1/2 months total. He went on deployment September 2020, came back end of September 2021 and then had to leave again December 1, 2021. We found out we are expecting our second child the day after he left for his current deployment so it’s been difficult. Before he had deployments he would work long 12-14 hour shifts and I wouldn’t see him much due to work and him needing sleep. Being a SAHM I personally never made him stay up to help with our son since I knew he needed sleep. We definitely made the most of his days/nights off (it switches every few months). He can’t choose what days he gets off, what shift he works, and whether or not he works holidays unless he puts in leave and that can be denied for any reason. When he gets back from his current deployment he will have to stay on base for 24 hours every couple of days so lots of nights apart. He went active a few months into our relationship so we have had this type of work schedule for the last almost 8 years. When I was working full time it definitely was next to impossible to get time together unless our days off matched. One thing that really helped was sitting down and communicating about what we are both dealing with. It’s not easy on either person to be apart like that. I really wish you guys the best!

Answer

You need to talk with him . I wouldn’t leave my husband over something like that . My husband used to be a long distance truck driver . Would be gone for weeks at a time . Sometimes he would come home for a day or 2 and then be gone again. Sometimes our schedules would be totally off and we hardly got to talk. Or when we finally did get to talk the connection would be bad and we would both get upset and end up hanging up. It was hard and lonely but I love him and would rather have him at the end of the day then not. Im lucky he decided to change his career choice and is now home every night . You need to be honest about how you’re feeling and let him know. There has to be another solution then you wanting to leave . That’s a long time to give up a relationship over .

Answer

First responder wife life is hard. My husband is an EMT and often works 36 hour shifts. But I'm used to it because he was already doing that when we met. Hang in there and do what you can to adjust - it'll get better as he gets more seniority.

Answer

My husband is a truck driver so he’s gone a lot and it sucks, it was never his dream job but he did it to support us. I miss him, and I would love more time with him but at the end of the day he’s not doing it for fun. He’s doing it to take care of his family. I would never ask him to stop. It helps to find ways to make us feel closer. Set some time aside to have dates, even if that’s for an hour on the couch together talking, make it a point to have a phone call during the day (not just communicating via text), set a game night once a month just the two of you. It’s tough but it’s doable

Could you stay married to your husband if you didnt like his career choice? please read

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