I am so mad at my husband right now

So, I had my son, born on the 5th, circumcised. I didn't really think anything of it as pretty much everyone in our families are circumcised.

Well it was botched and it looks horrible. Not to mention that the doctor says not enough was removed and they want to do it again?! At this point, what will even be left of his penis if they have to remove more skin and then later maybe have surgery to help his penis be the correct shape, because it's all crooked. I am so worried about his future and if he'll ever forgive me for this.

I have never heard a human scream so loud as he screamed when they did it. I let my stupid husband decide. I had this gut feeling that circumcision is just unnecessary and wrong 😑 but I thought to myself that my husband should make the call because he has a penis. So I told him that he should research it and let me know what he'd like to do. He said we should do it.

Now that we're going through all of this, he said that we shouldn't have done it and that he just did because he was circumcised. I realize that I could have been proactive too and researched it more, but I trusted him to be a good dad and do the research. Now that we are both looking into it, we feel so stupid.

How can I move past this and forgive him and myself? Am I alone? I feel like I've significantly impacted my son's future and all for nothing. He was born perfect and now I have all this added stress on top of all the stress of being a first time mom with a newborn. I feel like I'm going to go crazy.

Is there anyone else that feels bad like I do? I just don't want to feel like the only mom that is going through this and everyone else is just enjoying their perfect newborns while I just sit here making horrible memories.