My husband is making me feel like I am in the wronf but I do not think I am.

So alittle backstory my husband is in the army and is getting deployed very soon. And we have to set up his will and all that fun stuff,

Well yesterday I iver heard is conversation with his sister ( our apartment echos so you can litterally hear everything no matter where you are) and he told her how he called his mom and asked for her permission to put her down to be the guardian of our daughter if we both die. I had no idea about this cause we’ve never talked about that. So I got upset and when he asked me what was wrong I said that I was mad he was making this decision about our daughter without me or without talking to me about it.

I don’t have the best relationship with my in laws and I do not like them that much either they are very toxic and very controlling and have to do everything their way. ( they are also older almost in their 70’s now so they could’ve take care of her either way) So I don’t want my daughter going to them if we both die.

He then tells me I am over reacting cause he didn’t make a decision he just made a phone call asking permission to put her down, and I told him we should’ve had a conversation about this before calling anyone or asking anyone’s permission. But he thinks it doesn’t matter and that it shouldn’t matter that I was the last one to know cause no decision was made. But I think once that phone call was made that decision was made with out me.

He then proceeds to say how he doesn’t want her with my family because my parents live separately and don’t make as much money as his does and they both work full time so they couldn’t properly take care of her. I once again disagreed and told him they are more then capable of taking care of her and it doesn’t matter they live separately.

We continued to get into a huge fight that was turning into comparing our families. So I ended the convo before things were said that we couldn’t take back.

He is now still furious with me because I will not agree to make his parents her legal guardian if anything happens to the both of us. And continues to try and guilt trip me by saying she will go into foster care if we don’t list one family to take her while the courts decide. I have told him the guilt trip will not work and my Anwser is still a firm no. And he thinks I’m mad cause he’s putting his parents down, but I am mad that he didn’t come to me first and I have stated that over and over to him but he blows it off.

I truthfully do not think I am in the wrong at all in this situation... but I don’t know what to do now