Is anyone else attracted to violence?

I have such a sexual attraction to violence and aggression. Years ago I had a relationship with this combat veteran who divulged to me all the people he had killed and it was so weird how it turned me on. We didn’t work out but I ended up marrying someone else in the military and I’ve always been aroused by any type of aggression he has shown; it’s never been directed to me but I mean just in general. I like extremely rough and violent sex like being hit and choked. What is wrong with me? On the outside I live a normal conservative life... I’m a teacher... painter, writer... no one knows this about me.