This is a bit of a long one, but I’m feeling alone and a little depressed.

I’m a 22 year old mum, engaged and trying to create a safe and happy family for myself.

At a very young age I grew up in a family full of domestic violence. My father bashed my mother, in front of me and eventually my father ended up turning his anger of myself and siblings. My mother turned into an alcoholic because how miserable she was, eventually got the strength to leave my father after 15 years of abuse. I was manipulated into living with my father from the age 13- 18. My dad smokes marijuana and has schizophrenia. When I lived with my father he choked me, bashed me, verbally abused me and cut his stomach open in front of me. He wished death upon me and manipulated me. 😭 there is so much more that’s happened. Fast forward to now and I finally had the courage to remove him from my life as I knew that’s what I needed to do to keep myself and 5 month old safe. It’s been a lot easier not having him in my life. But he’s still causing so much stress on my life even though I have nothing to do with him. He’s turning up at my mothers house abusing her, I’m getting calls and messages from my siblings saying they want to kill themselves. I’m trying to keep it together. I’m trying to help everyone. My mum can’t deal with this stress as the stress can kill her. She’s only just gotten out of hospital. My PTSD is really bad right now; I’m barely sleeping; I’m having the worst nightmares of my father. I’m just really struggling. My partner is really struggling too and I’m trying to be there for him but I’m finding it hard because I’m feeling so alone. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading and listening to me. ❤️