I think I'm finally putting the thought of TTC in the back of my head. I feel numb to this situation. 😶  I'm done. I gave up. I'll just watch everyone's kids grow up and enjoy it. It's just not meant to be. I'm not sure if I'm trying to lie to myself or if I'm serious but that's what I feel at this very moment. A couple of weeks ago I was so sure I was pregnant, I just felt something in me. I bought pregnancy test in my last hope of getting a positive, nothing but BFN. I just planned a surprise baby shower a couple of weeks ago for my SO cousin & I didn't feel like I thought I would. It was fun but it's maybe not for me? I just feel like I'm going backwards with PCOS. I feel no motivation what so ever to even try to get healthy enough to conceive anymore.