What Do I Do? In love with my friend.

hi everybody! this is gonna be long so please bare with me and be kind <3

i started talking to this guy in July, it’s been about 9 months and we’re still talking. we had sex in September, then we had a falling out and got really close in Nov-Dec.

* we both live in the same city, 30 min apart, and we are both moving to NYC in the summer.

For those 2 months, we would talk on the phone for 8 hours at a time, bestie vibes fr. we hung out a few times and everything was very friendly, i was assuming he assumed we were just friends. mid december rolls around and he asks if i would be down to “hookup” again. i say yes, however, we never actually hooked up after he said that. end of december, i asked him if he was talking to anybody. and he asked me why it would bother me if he was, insinuating me to tell him i liked him or had feelings. to which he said “figure out how u feel, and when u do, tell me, whether thats in NYC, now, or in a week.. i want to know so i can set boundaries so i wont talk to other girls etc”

when he said that, i was really excited it felt almost as if he was confirming to me he wants to be exclusive and flirt again.

jan rolls around and i text him telling him that i figured out how i felt but id like to know where his head was at, and he COMPLETELY WENT AWALL. we were having casual convos after he ignored what i said up until like feb. we end up planning a trip to a different city together?

in FEB, i went to an event and met up with one of my mutuals. fast forward later in the night she told me shes talking to the same guy. and she started talking to him in the beginning of jan. she told me they went on dates, kissed, etc. this was 3 days before i was supposed to go on the trip with him. i completely ignored him until he finally called me to ask me what happened. basically saying that he started talking to this girl when him and i stopped talking, he doesnt know what he wants, etc. my friend completely stopped talking to him during this time also. to add, he told me he stopped talking to me in that way bc he was talking to this girl and wanted to give her the respect? but what about me LMAO? i was here first? and also.. he said if it ever got serious with the girl he wouldve told her that he doesnt know what he wants etc.

the trip happens, we have sex, and i saw him once more since the trip, and now he is texting me all the time 24/7. when we came back from the trip, he met my parents because he came over and compared himself to my ex and was like “do u think ur dad is gonna like me?” and “did ur dad like ___?” which confused the hell outta me.

to add, he compares me to his ex sometimes and hes like

“omg thank god bcos my ex…” but who does that if ur not openly pursuing me and if we’re just friends?

so recently ive going ghost and hes been texting me non stop all day today. he sent me something from twitter, i didnt answer, then he sends me this emoji an hour later 🥶, i didnt answer, then he texts me “GG goodnight” 3 hours later. (he never texts me gn)

reason as to why im being ghost is because im just overall sad he went and took someone on dates and never told me how he felt. no matter how many times i mention it to him, he never gives me a solid answer.

idk what to do because i dont want a relationship but i would like reciprocation and for him to let me know what he wants from me. but its always him stating “he goes with the flow”?? i just need advice because we are both moving to NYC, we created a bff friendship over 9 months, so its hard to let go and move on and ignore. i want to give him a chance for redemption but idk how to play this anymore and get him to admit his feelings etc

sorry just need some advice. ik i should let him go, its just HARD.. it almost feels like a waste of time and thats why im so hurt and its hard to let go.

ty <3