Am I bisexual? I’m so painfully confused

Question

Hey everyone! I wanted to post on here in chance that I could get some advice or opinions? I’m 17 and I’ve been debating if I was bi since I was 13 and it’s been on and off since. I’ve never dated anyone so I can’t exactly decide who I like tbf.
I KNOW I’m attracted to men and that I’m sure of and women in general are just so beautiful but I’ve always pictured myself marrying and having children with a man (I don’t know if that’s just because it’s been engrained in my head or not). I can though picture myself dating a girl or at least I think I can but I feel like I only find a certain type of girl attractive and am more likely to be attracted to men. Like I fancy more types of men than I do women? It’s more limited for women if that makes sense😅
 
I’m just so confused and everyone always tells me I give off bi vibes (whatever that even means) my whole family thinks I’m bi and I’ve always denied it but that stresses me out more because I feel as though everyone knows me more than I know myself and part of me doesn’t want to confirm that to them just because I don’t want them to say “I told you so”. So I don’t know if that’s put me in some sort of denial in accepting who I could be? 
There’s things bi/lesbian friends of mine experienced before they came out that made them realise who they were and I haven’t experienced those things ( friends of mine have been flustered by lingerie shops for example 
whereas I haven’t?) little things like that make me think I’m not but I’m so confused if you can’t tell lmao.
So my question is...
Would I still be considered Bi if I only feel attracted to a certain type of women? For example I don’t feel attracted to masc women but I feel attracted to fem even though they both have the same body parts I’m just not attracted to masc women? 
Sorry for this ramble I can’t really get what I’m trying to say out cause I don’t know how to word it😅 any advice or opinions are very much welcome and I will not take offence if anyone thinks I’m just stupid for being so confused 🤍 hope you all have a great week xxx

Answer

Sooo I was in the same predicament. I spent years telling myself I wasn’t bi and that I only liked men. And for those years, everyone called me out and plenty guessed I was gay at around 12-13ish I think (‘middle school age at least). And I too hated the idea that it was one big “I told ya so” if I had to ever admit it. 
And same as you, I’m not into masc presenting women and that’s okay. You can like women but still have a preference of presentation. Between the two of us, that plays a HUGE dynamic in how to relationship works. 
But anyways, I genuinely didn’t know I could be with a girl until I kissed one I thought I had feelings for and I wanted nothing more than to do it again. So yeah, that was definitely my gay awakening to myself. And although no one in my family know it, I am in a relationship now with a very lovely girl who truly makes me happy after years of telling myself I was very much so straight and would only ever love a man. 
Everyone has their own journey, so just relish yours. Don’t focus on how everyone else came to realize or when. You can be busy without liking all women same as someone being lesbian without liking all forms of women, it’s just a preference thing. You’ll get there when you get there. Good luck in your journey. And considering it seems pretty close to mine, I know it’ll work out for you!

Answer

I think there can be a lot of stigma surrounding labels when it comes to sexuality, and a lot of us feel uncomfortable trying to label our own, often cause we haven’t figured it out yet, and feel that if we say we are one thing to people, it’s set in stone. I think it’s important to understand that we don’t need to label anything or have a set answer for people when they ask about your sexuality (you can always respond “I’m bicurious” or “I’m unsure” if that’s where the issue lies). But I also really get that for some people, having a label to their sexuality or just knowing what your preferences are for yourself can be really important - so here’s a quote that I stole from bi.org to help:
“Just as there are millions of ways to be straight, gay, lesbian, or asexual, there are as many ways to be bi as there are bi people. No one word can fully capture the nuances of personality, culture, beliefs, or personal preference; no word should try to. The term bisexuality makes no such pretense — it is a general and inclusive term that encompasses everyone; all sexes and all genders. That does not mean that bi people are attracted to everyone, merely that bi people’s attractions aren’t limited by sex or gender.”
Basically, being bi doesn’t necessarily mean that you are equally attracted to all genders so if you feel that you only find some women attractive, then that’s a valid reason to call urself bi. Whether you feel comfortable labelling yourself as bi is up to you tho, but just know that you can take this stuff at your own pace cause this shit takes a lot of time. Also, some people feel different levels of attraction to different genders at different times in their lives - like I for example was a lot more attracted to men a couple years ago than I was a year ago, and now that attraction is coming back - so try not to stress about it is my advice, but if you feel the need to, that’s also ok:) wish u all the luck and hope you can get some closure🌸🌸

Am I bisexual? I’m so painfully confused

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