Do you think this is unreasonable?

Question

my husband hasn’t worked in months and doesn’t want to work. I work, clean, cook, and study ( in grad school) it’s a lot. I love my husband and he can be nice but he can also be terrible. If I bring something up that bothers me about him he escalates it and starts calling me a cunt, bitch.. etc.. doesn’t happen often but has happened three times which once is hurtful enough. He goes out with his friends every other day.. and after work I have to clean.. and then cook because no one else will. Anyway, husband wanted to go with my dad to visit my dads home country in Central America. My dad is old school! I don’t tell ppl about my relationship. But my parents know my husband is lazy because when they call me they noticed I’m always either cleaning, cooking or home alone.. because husband is with his friends playing card games. My husband has to be at the airport at 3 am. It’s like 20 degrees  where I’m at and my dad thinks it’s crazy that I drive him when I work that morning. My dad told me he wouldn’t want my mom to ever drive him and told me a true gentleman wouldn’t treat his wife like that. so my dad who’s 66 yes old is taking the bus to the airport and wants my husband to as well. When I told my husband who’s 26 years old he freaked out and told me I’m taking him to the airport. But my parents are saying if he truly loves me he would not let his wife drive 50 miles. This is how I can’t lie.. they will find out if I drive him. My parents are heartbroken about my husband.. they don’t tell me but I see it in their eyes that they’re always worried about me. My husband has been very spoiled his entire life and he will be shocked to see how life is in another country where my family is poor. Part of me is happy that my dads trying to help me by challenging my husband to be more traditional but part of me feels guilty.. for siding with my dad? What are your thoughts?

Answer

Sounds like you don't need your husband. Why is he still around?

Answer

Why are you even with this leech?!

Answer

What is he giving you as a husband? Just sex? Not sure ehy you need him if you do it all and he doesn't lift a finger to help you out EPECIALLY since he isn't working. The fact that he didn't even consider taking the bus you just HAVE TO TAKE HIM. On top of all of that he calls you bitch and cunt? I don't see what you find acceptable in any of his behaviors. He has you as his maid, cook and chauffer. This man has it made he doesn't have to do anything and I'm sure you'll make excuses for everything he does and doesn't do too. You deserve a partner not a leech like him. You definetly deserve better and your parents can see that from far away but you somehow can't. It's sad

Answer

Lmao ew. A GROWN ass man who doesn’t work, verbally abuses you, is childish/immature, and is living life like a teenager. Yikes I hope you don’t have kids seeing as though that complicates everything, LEAVE HIM. And no, it isn’t unreasonable. He needs to grow tf up.

Answer

I'd say.. Drive him to the airport.
Bring all his stuff to his mom.
Tell her you've been his mom for a while and you're ready to have an actual partner now.
Change the locks.
File for divorce.
Your dad is more than right. He needs to be your partner and not your boss nor child.
He is verbally abusive to you, and aparantly it's normal for you to work for both or you, do household for both of you, cook for both of you, pay everything for both of you...
You do see that that's not right, do you not?

Answer

Have you openly tried to address the situation or have asked him for help? Or does that end in him getting mad?  It sounds like hubby is either going through something. Or is just mooching.  
If you can I would suggest slowly stopping doing so much.  And then when the partner gets a bit frustrated that things aren’t done then say you wanted time for yourself and your mental health. Hell go see your friends or whatever.  See if that starts a conversation. If not maybe go to couples therapy. Please don’t let this continue.  It’s not right for you to do the work. My partner and I were the same way for a bit. But I never asked him for help. Or if he offered help I would tell him no.  Since then we had a discussion and now we try to clean and stuff together. And have been fine.  Granted we have never fought or had any issues

Answer

Divorce! You don’t deserve that shit

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Your husband sounds terrible. If you don't want to leave him, stop cooking for him, stop cleaning up for him and just stop doing all of the things you do for him. He needs to realise all that you do for him

Answer

I wanted to add to my previous response.. Which is maybe a bit resolute.. That I don't think driving him to the airport is the issue... I feel like if everything is divided equal-ish driving him to the airport is somewhat normal as he wouldn't have to drag his stuff up and down busy busses not pay for bus fees, nor needing to pay for parking lot near the airport...
But this combined with EVERYTHING else.. Is a huge issue.
Him not working, providing, houseworking, caring, cooking, nothing... That's the huge issue.

Do you think this is unreasonable?

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