Am I with a child?

Question

Sometime ago I posted about my boyfriend getting into problems because he went to play air soft with my  brothers and they broke my sisters window broke and well I got really mad and kicked him out because he likes hanging out with my brothers friends who are still in high school and he’s a 27 year old “ADULT” and also because my mom and sister kept telling me stuff and I even had an officer at my door interrogating me… long story short when he left apparently he was mad enough to create online dating profiles in various applications and unfortunately I found out through my sister because she’s on them and he wouldn’t admit anything until I finally got access. He even swore it on his baby girl of 3 months! I’m really hurt as this isn’t the first time. He didn’t take any action in actually physically beating with someone I think but he did create another dating account when I forgave him for actions and took him back into my home. I asked if he did anything sketchy and he lied and kept lying to me until I uncovered the whole thing. Well im baffled on what to do… I really can’t handle my girls on my own without him especially right now that im about to go back to work. I don’t have a support system whatsoever on my side of the family since my mom has kidney disease end stage. Im hurt and im even more hurt I can’t leave him at the moment due to the situation. I really don’t want the relationship anymore because of many other situations and these last two invidentes really did it for me… Any thoughts on how I can possibly approach this? How I can try talking to him? I don’t want to talk to him. But I’d really appreciate feedback

Answer

Whether it’s government assistance, state funded daycare, section 8 or transitional housing, if you don’t have a vehicle, get on the list at Salvation Army, Energy Assistance, rental assistance, Catholic charities it’s great for that, churches are another great resource, whether it’s for mental therapy, but you can also get a Catholic charities, churches are also great for food pantry, people usually have items they are no longer using from furniture, baby items, you probably can find some babysitters there as well, and what items you can’t find, Facebook marketplace or Goodwill, you have options, utilize them. He is a child because he’s not excepting responsibility for his own life you’re alone his own child. He’s cheating on you left and right, and you are allowing the behavior and tolerating it by staying with him and telling him that that behavior is acceptable which is why you weren’t leaving and why he keeps doing it because he doesn’t respect you anymore after the first time it happened it should’ve been the last. Now he knows you don’t want to be alone, and he can get Get away with murder and do as he pleases because you are not going anywhere, he’s taking advantage￼. Utilize government services if you must, there’s no shame in it, go to the Family Court, set up child support, custody, visitation, whatever you want, and if he doesn’t want to pay, that’s what child support is for they garnished from his paycheck. Then you don’t have to deal with him. If he becomes violent,You called police, you get a restraining order, you do what you have to do. Unfortunately make it ugly, All the he said she said crap. But you do what you have to do. you put yourself and your child first. You need someone who is your equal, not someone you constantly have to chase after to be a better person. Someone who has their life together or not a fixer-upper. Eventually things become draining. You get tired of the hamster wheel the same crap over and over again. You stop tolerating the crap,  Stop allowing him to bring you down, and take it one day at a time. Set up a game plan, either get rid of them all together, get sole custody, whatever you want. Move on with your life. Stop letting him bring you down. You’ve got this

Answer

I can’t leave him atm due to the situation. …what situation? You can always leave and should

Answer

He lied on his baby girl. It’s a no from me.

Answer

So your first "problem" - I don't understand why you have an issue being friends with your brothers. Their ages are irrespective and so a window got broken - accidents happen. Being an adult doesn't mean you have to stop having fun. We hang out with our younger family members all the time - I mean in January we went bowling in a huge group with my husband being the oldest (38 at the time) and the youngest being my sister in law's brothers who were 17 at the time (and it's not the first time we've hung out with them). So that's no issue at all and I don't understand why you would even fight with your boyfriend for that. I dare say that might have made him feel like you don't want him as part of the family, which moves onto problem two.
No, obviously it wasn't right of your boyfriend to create a dating profile and then lie to you about it. Obviously that's a no no and you need to talk to him when you're both in a calm state of mind to ask him what was going through his mind when he did that. It might be indicative of the end of your relationship, it might have been out of anger with regards to the above, etc.

Am I with a child?

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