Husband blames me for toddlers developmental issues

This is a long one! My first born (now 3) has late development. We have taken her to speech and language therapy where they have assessed her and want to get her checked out by the autism team for an assessment. She doesnt speak and is behind on a couple of things. In other things she is fine though and (when not having a tantrum) is the happiest smiliest child. When she was 8 months old, the day i was due to return back to work from maternity leave, my mum had a heart attack. For the next 6-8 weeks this was Followed by triple bypass surgery, other multiple surgeries, and second cardiac arrest right in of me. Her heart stopped tor 20 minutes and somehow she was brought back to us after being in an induced coma for weeks. Then the struggles of her hallucinations began when she came out of the coma, not remembering anything, imaging creatures hanging off the ceiling and crawling on the floor. It was tough for us all. My husbands work contract had just finished so he stayed home with my baby whilst i spent every day at the hospital thinking it was going to be the last time i see my mum. We were told multiple times by the icu doctors to say our goodbyes only for mum to pull through again! At the time husband was happy to look after our little one whilst i did what i had to do with my mum (work allowed me the time off using annual leave and some carers leave etc)

Back to my daughter - my husband now blames me for the ‘way our daughters turned out’. Because she was meeting all her milestones whilst i was on maternity leave and really things started changing more with her when i spent more time at the hospital/then went back to work, he says she was doing well with me and me not being around fucked her over. Its not the first time hes mentioned his annoyance for that whole period by making comments like ‘yeah thats when u left us’ or ‘when u werent around’ but today he flat out said our daughter is the way she is because i chose my mum over her. My heart is broken, i thought he understood. If it was his mum he would have even forgotten we existed for the whole time. Even though most nights i would get back home for bedtime to help with that and to spend some time with her then and i did the nights too - waking up with her settling her cuddling her whilst she was teething. Then getting up and going to the hospital again at 9am with a combined amount of about 3 hours sleep. My heart was torn i didnt want to leave my baby but i thought she was safe and happy with her father who i trusted, my mum on the other hand needed me in that moment. I dont know how to move on from this because not only did he imply what happened with my mum was so minor, he will always now blame me for anything to do with my daughter and her development.

If you’ve read all this, well done! I needed a rant and maybe some advice. Is he right? Am i?

EDIT - sorry maybe iv confused u all, i have never once blamed him for her delays or think he is at fault. Hes always had jabs at me. Infact hes said things like ‘when i was solely looking after her she never did this or that, dont know why she does that with you’. He blames me. I dont blame him.