Am I a jerk for not allowing my child around her grandpa?

Question

My grandma has been married to the man I know as grandpa since I was a small child, so he’s not biological. I have always felt uncomfortable around him and have never enjoyed being around him. As a teenager I noticed him watching young girls or making comments about them and the feelings got worse. Then I caught him watching my 8 year old cousin changing naked, he was just watching but it was obvious he wasn’t supposed to be there. 
This being said I don’t allow my daughter (5) around him at all. We live far away out of state now so it hasn’t been a problem to just avoid them. However my moms birthday is coming up and everyone wants me and my daughter to fly in and everyone stay at my moms for a few days to celebrate. Which would mean everyone will be there under one roof. I’ve stated that I’m not comfortable with this and expressed my concerns but everyone says I’m being dramatic. My family is upset that I don’t want to come. But I did suggest coming at a later time and spending one on one time with my mom. My husband 100% is on board with my decision and feels the same about him as I do. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong but everyone says it’ll be fine and I can just suck it up for the weekend. Advice?

Answer

Trust your instincts mama! It is your job to protect her & that is what you are doing. 
As an alternative option, have you considered staying elsewhere like a hotel and just being there for the party?

Answer

Get an air bnb close by?

Answer

Do whatever you fell comfortable with.  Theres a reason you have those feelings.    You could stay in a hotel and just see them.  But like I said do whatever you're comfortable with.

Answer

Nope, if you’re not comfortable with your child around him, make sure you listen to that feeling. I’m not super close with my biological father’s family, but I’ve been to a few gatherings at his house. I didn’t grow up with them, so I am not familiar with any of them really. Well, one guy (my dad‘s brother, my uncle) gave me the creeps so bad. My daughter was with me and I did not like the way he was looking at either of us. Well, I was not wrong. After I left the party, I told my mom about that guy and how he creeped me out. She told me that in the past he had been caught masturbating over his niece while she was asleep. And it happened again with another female family member. Even though everyone knew he did this he was still allowed around the children in the family. No one told me this, and I brought my child to that family party!￼ now I will never step foot in my fathers house again. They can all fuck off for not telling me this and putting my child at risk.

Answer

Another option is to go, get a hotel alone "to have more space", and make sure you or your husband always keep an eye on her when youre at your house to make sure hes never alone with her.
If that wont work, visit alone another time.

Answer

Don't make yourself or your child uncomfortable to make others happy. It sounds to me like you are making the right choice! 👏 Good job, Mama. You've set your boundary and you should be proud of yourself.

Answer

My fiance's grandmother has been pushing us to go take our 5 month old daughter to visit her ex husband, my fiance's biological grandfather, who is a known child abuser and sexually abused my mother-in-law for years, as well as his cousins who were left in his care. I told her over my dead body. If it feels wrong to you, don't do it. Do not risk your child's safety if there's something screaming at you that it's not a good idea.

Answer

I would do the same thing. You're doing the right thing because it's what YOU feel comfortable doing. If you wanted to go you can always have eyes on your daughter and don't need to sleep over at their house.

Am I a jerk for not allowing my child around her grandpa?

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