Story time…

Last night I was at my baby daddy’s house. We had gotten into an argument about something. His boss had called him up started talking about things to do with work. He mentioned a girls name and my baby daddy immediately turned his volume down on his phone. Mind you this is the girl he told was cute and our relationship is rocky. So once he was off the phone I asked him why he turned his volume down? He said he didn’t want to cause a fight. He uses this girl to threaten me too if we don’t get along he will say he is going to text her. So I didn’t say a word, went and grabbed a few of my things from his room, and got my dog ready to go. He immediately got mad, told me I wasn’t leaving and stood in front of the door. He was yelling and screaming at me. Next thing you know his mom and grandma come down. Mind you I am 24 weeks pregnant this dude pulled a knife out, said he hopes I have a miscarriage, made fun of my lisp, and wished a seizure upon me because I do have epilepsy. Anyways, nobody would let me leave. His mom starts getting in my face calling me disrespectful and it’s her house I’m not going anywhere. My dog was so scared. I had to get her to get up, he was blocking my only way out of the basement. So all the yelling going on, I stopped talking I wasn’t yelling I finally got my dog to get up and we went upstairs and was going to leave out a different door. I already knew to leave my front door unlocked so that I could easily access my car which I had left my keys under my seat for easy access, well this dude comes out and is super paranoid that I called the police, which I didn’t. He punched my drivers side window, which didn’t break thank god. That was hours ago now. I’ve talked to domestic violence support, and I’m now learning that when I’m at somebody’s house I have to be their prisoner which I’ve never experienced in my entire life. There’s more of a history with this girl then I’m able to say but the point is, when I am at someone’s house I should be able to leave for any reason even if it’s because I want too. I’ve been stuck in this pattern for a while but I’m ready to break free. I’m ready to do what’s right for my son, my dog and myself. Narcissistic relationships are no joke. Also I’m not looking for any sympathy or anything just came here to vent and share this story in case I need it in the future. I can’t believe I’ve bought into him apologizing and being nice to me after things have happened just for them to happen over and over again.

If you ask me something I might come back to update but for safety reasons I will not expose myself here.

I told the girl story because it’s how everything had started, just saying.

I mean when I’m at his house, he has made me his prisoner, wouldn’t let me leave the way I came in with my dog. He failed to make me feel safe. Now I’m a bit nervous to go to anyones house because if they can treat me that way, whose to say anyone else can’t tell me the same thing…like I’m going to only concentrate on what’s best for my son from here on out…

No..none of it is okay at all. He tried holding me captive in his house so did his mother. I don’t feel safe there are you kidding me? I’m going to be finding a therapist and being done with this forever. I’m not raising my son in this type of environment, he don’t deserve that. What he does deserve is a happy healthy mother who can take care of him. Which is all I care about moving forward. Yes, I have learned skills to use in case things go wrong. There has been so much trauma that has happened to me in my life. So to know these things is life or death pretty much.