Tell me it gets better

This is going to be a long post but honestly I just need to let my feelings out. And maybe take a little advice or it gets better soons.

I’m a momma of a 2.5 yr old and a 5 week old (TODAY). I have always struggled with depression and anxiety but wow this ppd is like no other.

how the HELL did you manage becoming a mom of two? My guilt is insane about not being able to give my toddler the amount of attention I used to. My depression makes me not even want to try right now. Long story short I have been sending my toddler to pre school every day so I can focus on taking care of my newbie and myself during the day. But the thought that I’m ruining my relationship with my toddler and the anxetiy and guilt of sending her away for most of the day is killing me. Will it get better? Will she remember these days and how sad her momma was?

Also is there something happening at 5-6 weeks because suddenly my pretty content baby has became a fuss pot which honestly makes things So much worse: my whole body gets hot and I feel sick when she cries. Those feelings of I don’t want my baby.. they’re here. And I’m so embarrassed about it. Also yes I’m on medication and seeing a therapist