I’m pregnant with my 2nd. Our first was an accident but this baby was pretty much planned. Like I got off bc for him because he wanted another one although I said idk if we are financially ready but he wanted another one . It was stupid of me because we weren’t together for our first , and he was the one who came back so I figured he had baby fever since he we weren’t together for our first . But I made a mistake. I found out he was messaging other girls, he was always drinking w friends , you know. Like little signs he and there but I was already pregnant and didn’t know yet . I broke up w him. Then I found out I was pregnant to which he was happy and he came back but he didn’t stop the texting other girls and drinking so I had to leave him again. And I haven’t gone back to him . Especially after finding a lot of stuff out that just hurt me . He doesn’t want me to see other people and even threatened to fight custody if I did but get this, he made excuses when I asked him if we should share custody, he’ll take care of our first as long as he knows I’m working, if not , then it’s no. Ok fine. I stopped replying. I stopped reaching out for help. He helps financially but even then I stopped asking for anything .

Now this second baby I’m 20 weeks . And I decided I wanted a gender reveal but idk anymore . Because I’ve been so depressed and bitter , and so detached from this baby, I feel like doing nothing at all. I wanted to have the experience of having my partner be there for all of it . But if we are broken up what’s the point ? 😔🥺 I’m trying to enjoy this pregnancy but I just want it to be over . I just feel like he got me pregnant to trap me . So there are days I wish I could run away and him not know anything . I don’t know if it’s the hormones but it’s just the way I feel. I’m heartbroken because maybe one day he’ll get another girl pregnant and give her all the love and support that I lack now . I may have cervical cancer so this may be it for me. You know and I never got that love from my baby’s father during my pregnancy so it just hurts . And there’s often times I feel like not doing anything , not doing a gender reveal, not doing a baby shower .