Getting pregnant

I know I shouldnt be mad, or upset or feel defeated. But i do, and I am. Seeing my period this morning after swearing it was different this time was so defeating. My friend is pregnant with her 5th kid and although I am happy for her I am also mad and sad that it isnt me who is pregnant. The hospitals we have around where we live are terrible, and anything else worth going too are 2 hours away or more. We are moving in a few months to Oregon and they have good and better hospitals there. I just want to be a mommy so bad. Its so hard. But i know it'll happen I am just very impaient and I know a lot of women understand what I am going through.