This isn’t really a rant. It’s more like I need other peoples opinions and support.

Recently, I’ve had a few odd things happen. I’ll share it in the order it happened.

My husband and I lost our first born child at 8w5d pregnant in late May 2021. Since then we haven’t actively been ttc our Rainbow, but we definitely haven’t been avoiding it either. Also, in late December 2021, 7months to the exact day after losing baby actually, my dad passed away. It was really sad and has been really hard for me. Recently, I spotted pinkish brown for about 4 days. According to my temp chart I just ovulated on the 11th. So that could be ovulation spotting. So, ovulation has been confirmed. The second thing that happened was at the end of this spotting, so Saturday night, my mother in law and I were talking in the living room and we were talking about when my husband and I do have babies and how awesome it’ll be and how loved and spoiled they’ll be. I mentioned how my husband and I both want a baby so bad immediately but I think we should wait until we buy our own place (my mother in law is letting us live with her while we save for a place to buy). She looked at me and said “Well, if it happens sooner than planned while you’re still living here, then I guess the guest bedroom will become the nursery.” And then I chuckled and said “Oh no, I wouldn’t want to do that to you.” And then she just smiled and said “Are you kidding?!?! I would love to have my grand baby right there!! I could love them all day and it would be amazing to have my grand baby right here at my house with me all the time. I’d love that!”

The next day after that, yesterday, my husband and I went to visit his little brother at my father in laws house. Keep in mind my brother in law is 8 years old. We were outside while him and my husband were playing basketball. My husband went into his dads house to talk to his dad and my little brother in law ran up to me and said “Hey, Shi, I think you’re gonna have a baby.” I just laughed and said “why do you say that? You’re silly.” And he was dead serious he shook his head and said “no. I think you’re going to have a baby because your belly is bigger.” I laughed again and said “Well, we just ate lunch. I had a big chicken sandwich. I’m just really full. My belly is bigger right now because I’m bloated from all the food.” He shook his head again and said “No, no. Your belly was a little bigger even before we at lunch. I think you’re gonna have a baby.” I just laughed and said “ok.” I didn’t know what to say or think about that interaction. He’s 8!!

Besides the interactions with my mother in law and brother in law I’ve been feeling total deja vu with how I’ve been feeling and what my body has been doing. It’s just like last time. Exactly like last time. And it’s like my family members are just confirming it all without knowing they’re confirming it. At least that what it feel like to me… but I don’t know. I don’t know what to think or feel. What if it’s just all the grief getting to me?

Anyway, I’ve heard of women having interactions like this before getting their positive.

Could these incidents be signs that my husband and my Rainbow is on his/her way?

I think I’m starting to let this all go to my head way too much due to all the grief, and I think I’m starting to chase false hope… I hate this.. I hate feeling this way, so empty and broken… to the point where I’m chasing false hope..

What’re your opinions of this? Anyone else had any interactions like this with family member before?

Is there any hope or is it all just going to my head? Am I going crazy and chasing false hope?