Any advice?

Question

Hello ladies.
I’m needing some help, kind words,anything.
I don’t have any friends - my husband & I have been together for 5 years off & on, married almost 2.
In the past he pressured me into having a 3 some with one of my best friends. It didn’t last long trust me. He left me & texted her saying he really just wanted to have sex with her. 
He bought someone’s onlyfans
He watched lots of porn - he knew & it bugged and said he wouldn’t do it anymore. 
He went behind my back talking to other women
Left me multiple times but we got pregnant and have a beautiful 1.5 year old.
Through all this he broke his phone and we bought mine last year & started sharing mine.
Today he got his own phone and I’m mad - not mad just scared that one of those things I listed might happen again.
No need to say our relationship is toxic because I know but I want to make it work for our beautiful daughter because she’s worth it. 
We have been fighting all day, and I’m just so scared. I rather be mad now than to let it happen later and maybe it won’t hurt so much..
Thank you for reading. Any kind words or good advice would help me feel so much better💙

Answer

Dear your daughter will grow up to mirror what you are showing her. She will think its normal for a man to dishonor, disrespect, and betray her because thats what she is seeing. You can end the relationship without coming inbetween the relationship of her father and her. And you as her care giver she indirectly picks up on your mental emotional and physical stress. Focus on becoming independent so u can give an ultimatum and leave if he doesnt comply.

Answer

You may think its best for your daughter but its really not. Kids are smarter than some people think. I remember being 4 picking up on my toxic childhood environment and knowing it was not okay. I remember the constant arguing, passive aggressiveness and my moms boyfriend hurting her. It affected me. It affected how i viewed relationships when i got into them as well, thinking it was okay to let men treat me that way. My mom had been with toxic boyfriends and her now husband for over 14 years and it was hell all the way thru. Their kids are very damaged from it, and they think its better for the kids, but my brothers are miserable and are so resentful of her now. All they know is toxicity in relationships. Kids will mirror what you do, as the other comment stated. You have to be what you want your kids to be, and be an active role model in their lives. 
Now that i have my own child, i try to implement what ive learned and grown up with. My sons dad was and is extremely toxic. We are toxic together. I decided to break things off when my son was just a baby. It took me a couple months but it had to be done, because i refuse to let him grow up in that environment like it did. It was very very hard. I wanted that picture perfect family. I wanted to stay together for the sake of staying together because you want stability. But that will not create longterm stability for my son. I want to show him what REAL HEALTHY love looks like. And show him not to settle. My advice would be to really spend some time to think about how this might affect your daughter in the long run. Would you want your daughter to do what youre doing right now? Or would you want her to be in a loving healthy relationship, where she doesnt settle for less. Its okay if the parents are not together. Its better to be apart, and be friends and healthy parents. Then to be together and argue around your kid, or out up a fake facade that everythings okay. Your life will improve and your daughters life will improve if you step away from this relationship. Idk tho, just do whats best for your family. Ive heard of some people say they appreciated their parents together in the home, as long as they were honest about their relationship not working. And for some it can cause lifelong resentment

Answer

Your daughter will not benefit being around fighting all day...

Any advice?

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