Need to vent in a safe place

So, my boyfriend and are not “trying” but not not “trying”. We both have said that if it happens we will be happy but he doesn’t want to stress about it given he has infertility issues. But for this cycle I have felt different, I’m nauseous all the time, have major indigestion and I have had a headache. All of those are typical PMS but they aren’t normal for me. I took a test yesterday (10DPO well the ovulation the app said and it’s been right) and I couldn’t tell if I saw a line or an indent line but with a light shown behind there was definitely a line. I know I need to wait to take another (let the HCG build up) if I am pregnant but I don’t know. Part of me knows that it’s more than likely going to be negative but the other part of me is so hopeful. And I feel selfish for wanting to be pregnant so badly. Friends don’t understand but I knew this group of women would. Im anxious to know, but also fearful it will be negative. I know my boyfriend has infertility with his sperm (he has seen a specialist) and I don’t think I have anything other than being overweight. So the chances for us I know are slim, but dang I want this so badly. So I want to send baby dust to everyone out there that is trying because this feeling of not knowing is so awful.