So my boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years and from the start I told him one day I wanted a family, he was cool with that he said he would probably have kids down the line and we had a plan, a couple months into the relationship his ex finds out she’s pregnant (his kid), and surprisingly I’m okay with it I always wanted kids early like in my early to mid 20’s so considering I was 17 at the time I wasn’t really bothered…. Then the baby girl is born and like my boyfriend and I had discussed he wanted me to be a part of her life, the ex wanted none of that I was told I was not allowed to meet her and was to sit outside in the car for up to 3 hours while he went inside and saw his daughter, I ended up meeting her at around 6 months and from then on I knew that being a mum is what I want it’s what I have wanted for so long. Ofc I take care of her and do everything a mum would do when she stays with us but she doesn’t feel like she is mine. Fast track and the baby girl isn’t such a baby she’s around 16 months and the ex is pregnant again (her now fiancé), my boyfriend has now told me that he is not going to have anymore kids, he says it’s because he doesn’t want to see his daughter seeing siblings with their parents together and he doesn’t think it would be fair, and he knows the ex won’t think like that. The problem is I still want kids, and I want him to want to have them with me, I’m not going to be on birth control forever, there have been so many issues with the ex in the past and I’m sick of living my life based on hers…

1. I can only see the child on her terms

2. She gets to pick who is around her child but doesn’t give my bf a say in that

3. When we moved we had to make sure it was close enough to the ex

4. I potentially don’t get to have kids with the person I thought I would start a family with

5. She made me show her how I drive before I could drive the child around… she didn’t even have her license

Idk am I being unfair I get where my bf is coming from in saying his ex won’t think like that but if you raise your kids the same way and treat them all the same and love them all the same is it such a big issue as long as you do your part as a parent it won’t/ shouldn’t affect the kids