I literally can’t stop lying. I feel like I’m living two different lives.

The side that I’ve made up has trauma which explains her depression and anxiety. She’s not a virgin. She’s desirable and has to turn down men often (I’ve never been asked out or wanted). She had an abusive ex (I’ve never had a bf tho). She’s so valid.

I’m literally just a girl that sits around all day sulking about how I hate the world and the humans in it. I have no reason to be sad but that girl I’ve made up does. If I was her in real life my parents would stop making me feel bad for my messy room and all the other shit I do. They tell me I have no trauma so their confused. If I did then I’d be valid like everyone else. I know it’s horrible to say but I hate myself when I hear about peoples trauma cus I’m just a pathetic dumbass living a double life wishing I had actual problems to be sad over. It’s so embarrassing talking about this. I dont know what to do. I dont know what’s real or fake anymore and I hate myself.