Toddler’s lack of sleep is ruining my life

I’m sorry if it sounds dramatic but it’s true. My son is 3 and has never been a good sleeper. He will not nap and it takes him hours to fall asleep at night. He will wake at the slightest sound and our house is small so I cannot watch tv or do ANYTHING after he goes to bed. I have to tiptoe around the house. I can’t even have sex with my husband because he somehow ALWAYS wakes up even when we are quiet. It is driving me nuts. We tried melatonin and it did NOTHING. I even tried Benadryl (at his DOCTOR’s suggestion) and it didn’t do anything either! Like wtf. I feel so overwhelmed. He will eventually fall asleep around 10:30 and be up by 6. He has had the same routine since birth. Dinner. Bath. Books. Bed. He has a fan. White noise machine. Night light. No night light. He doesn’t get a ton of sugar. He is fed well. He has access to water. He WILL NOT SLEEP. I don’t know what to do anymore. 😭 I just want some fucking alone time. During the day he is so wound up and high energy and never stops running around. I know he has ADHD but the doc says he’s too young for a diagnosis. What can I do? It is seriously like he has crackhead energy and I know that’s awful to say but he acts like he’s on speed 24/7. Please help.

@Silje, he gets plenty of activity, we are outside almost all day. Very little screen time.