I have terrible anxiety. Diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

I've personally seen too many women have miscarriages and stillborn without even having any fertility or health issues at all, to allow myself to get excited buy any baby stuff or tell family or friends until the baby is literally alive and breathing in my arms. If I were to ever announce I wouldn't do it earlier than 5 or 6 months pregnant. Too many things can go wrong. I've noticed lately the new trend is to not announce on social media until the baby is actually born.

My mom had a still born baby 35 years ago with a completely healthy pregnancy no issues at all my sister ended with the umbilical chord wrapped 2x around around her neck, my mom was full term she had to wait 2 days to deliver knowing her baby was dead. My older sister who also has no underlining health conditions had a stillborn at 8.5 months. One day she noticed she hadn't felt him move in a while. Everything at her ultrasound a week before looked absolutely perfect his brain his heart all perfect. When she went to her dr after realizing something was wrong the confirmed his heart beat was gone. After waiting 3 days knowing he was gone they finally induced her and delivered my beautiful godson and nephew Micah Gerold born sleeping. They found the chord wrapped around his foot once, but was not enough to cause his heart to stop. To this day they have no answer for why he died.

There is a theory many docs have that side can occur in the womb, if true it truly terrifying.

This was feb 2019. Since then my sister had 2 miscarriages. She is now 8 months pregnant with a baby girl. But terrified every single day of something going wrong.

Literally anything can happen like that.

Thursday February 3rd was 10 years since I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. I Had a 20 cm cysist removed from my left ovary, my left fallopian tube removed, and my colon had to be repositioned and of course my endo scraped out.

Now that we are married I stopped my medication bc 3 months ago which I first began 10 years ago to treat my endometriosis to suppress my ovaries to prevent me forming anymore ovarian cysts. It also worked as a birth control. I will now just have to hope and pray I can manage my endometriosis without it. My pain has already tripled since last month.

Growing up overweight I was constantly being told by my doctors that with being overweight I'd have a very good chance of having fertility problems when I got got older. By age 10 my endocrinologist told me he believed I had started developing PCOS symptoms(obviously I had know idea what that even meant). My 13th birthday was spent in ER with my first diagnosed ovarian cycist confirming my diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). For the next 7 years I believed that my incredibly painful and heavy periods and the daily chronic pain I felt everyday was just normal. At age 20 my gynecologist claimed that after I experienced a terrible side effect from the medication she prescribed me that caused my entire left foot to swell up and hurt so bad I was about ready to chop my foot off. She said since I was allergic to that birth control then I'm allergic to all birth control, because that ingredient "estrogen" is in all birth control. Because of her 2 years later I ended up in the ER again this time with a 20 cm ovarian cyst, that could of been prevented had my doctor not been an idiot. After my surgery my dr diagnosed me with something I never heard of Endometriosis. My new dr. Told me there are other birth controls pills out there which have no or very low levels of estrogen but primarily progest. Yes had been aware of this I could of been treating my pcos and Endometriosis for those past 2 years, and never would need the surgery to have a 20 cm cysist removed from my left ovary, which forced my surgeon to have to remove my left fallopian tube or for insides to be needed to be literally scraped out because of my scarring a result of the Endometriosis.

Now the time is here that I've worried about for the past 10 years with only one fallopian I still hope I'll be able to get pregnant.

This is only my 2nd cycle but even when I do get pregnant I feel like I'm doomed to at least have one miscarriage with my history.

Please pray my sister and her baby and healthy and safe delivery! Also I appreciate all prayers I can get as well and baby dust.

Is anyone else planning waiting 5 months or more to announce they are expecting or even waiting til after your baby is born? Anyone not wanting a baby shower til closer to term or after baby is born?