Giving up

I'm beginning to think it is not in my will to have children I once had the opportunity once to be pregnant but due to the living arrangements that I was in I was forced to get an abortion I never wanted it but was forced to since then I was never ever able to get pregnant again I feel that this is my punishment I feel less of a woman longing so much to get pregnant and can't it hurts so much when you want something and can't have it I feel that I was just placed on this earth by accident because I can't be happy it's so hurtful I wish this cursed would be over I just want to be happy