I feel totally alone, and very confused.

Story time

My SIL#1 got married last year and only told a few selected people. Everything with covid and preparing for a wedding was stressing her out, and her husband thought it best if they just did a court house wedding. That way if they decided not to do the huge wedding it wasn't a big deal, and besides they already lived together so it wasn't like anything really changed.

Well after a few months they decided to go through with the big ceremony. But they told SIL#2, her grandmother, her aunt, and thru them me and my husband were told they had already gotten married.

SIL#2 (SIL#1 older sister) and aunt thought that it was an abomination that they weren't telling his family and everyone that they were already married. They said that they were lying, and being deceptive. They told SIL#1 that they weren't going to the wedding until she and her husband told his family that they already got married.

Reluctantly, they told his family. His mom said she wished she never knew and that they never told her.

SIL#2 and her grandmother threw her a bridal shower, they had planned it for months. 5 days before the shower SIL#2 decided that SIL#1 telling his family about already being married to him wasn't enough, and backed out of the shower. Leaving 80 year old grandma to throw the shower herself, I stepped in and helped in everyway I could. Decorated, came up with games, made food. Pretty much did everything SIL#2 was supposed to do.

The day of the shower none other than SIL#2 comes waltzing in. She brought the food and the games, so mine were pretty much tossed, which is whatever I'm just glad she came. Everything went smoothly, and both SILs got along great. The aunt did not come to the shower, she lives too far away.

The wedding is in a couple of weeks, and just a couple days ago SIL#2 texts SIL#1 and tells her that not telling people about already getting married is lying and deceptive. I guess she wants her tell all the guests and not just family members I'm not 100% sure. Anyways so SIL#1 tells her that if she feels so strongly against the wedding and her then shes uninvited to the wedding.

So all of that to say am I the only one who thinks that SIL#2 the aunt and the grandmother are being a little overreacting? They all think that SIL#1 is doing this horrific crime by not telling anyone that her and her husband got married over a year ago.

My husband (SILs brother) thinks that they are right.

I think it's all so ridiculous how everyone is acting, and I've kinda stood on Sil#1 side, while also trying not to get involved.

I'd love to hear your thoughts