So afraid of being hurt. Really need advice!

I recently reconnected with an ex. We “dated” 5 years ago and things weren’t ideal. He cheated on me with both his baby mamas and lied a lot…. For the past 5 months we have been together, the sex is amazing and our chemistry is wonderful. He left his baby’s mother weeks prior to us getting together as I did the same with my ex. I didn’t really have any expectations but we both caught really staring feelings and fell in love. He recently got my name tattooed on him LOL save the comments on that bc I already know lol. He has broke my trust as far as lying about drinking, he has a problem & any time we argue he gets overly drink and does really stupid shit, but when we are together, things are so good, except for the fact I really enjoy being alone. I have 2 children which he’s great with but he wants to be with me 24/7 and when we are not we have issues. He loves 45 mins away so when he comes over he usually stays days at a time. He isnt working right now & hasn’t the whole time we have dated, he has a little bit of income in “other ways” but it’s always my groceries, my car & most of the time I’m buying the food but he has done some of that for me. He just isn’t as established as I want him to be and in turn that makes me be very mean to him. Plus, I’m unsure if I should fully trust him considering how he done me in the past.. is he just using me?!! Idk. I feel like he really cares but I’m so scared to fully commit bc i don’t want to be hurt. My ex was a complete narcissist & destroyed me in a lot of ways and I sometimes see myself taking on some of the horrible traits he inflicted on me… I feel like I have hurt this man and that’s the last thing I want to do but at the same time I have this huge wall up so I won’t hurt myself. I have left him for about 4 times since we have dated just bc I’m unsure if this is what I want & Ik that’s not healthy either. He does great texting me through out the day and communication in general but I’ve got to where if I feel something is off I take it to the extreme. His babymama literally lives a street over from him & they have been involved for 13 years now and I’m just afraid of that as well, considering he’s cheated on me before with her. She won’t let him see his kids when they aren’t together and he’s made the statement he’s stayed that long because of his kids…. He also had her and another girl pregnant at the same time 2 years

Ago . He said he wasn’t in a relationship with either girl but sleeping around … so all the sudden he’s changed for me?!? When he’s around he always shows me his phone when it goes off for reassurance. Lately I’ve been having a weird gut feeling about things but idk if it’s bc of my own insecurities or bc he’s up to stuff 😢 I really don’t know what to do. Should I just leave it alone before I really get my heartbroken?