S***dal after a breakup . TW

Is it normal to feel s**cidal after a breakup ? My bf broke up with me a couple days ago . The same day I reached out to my doctor saying I was feeling depressed and she made me have an intake with a psychologist. Today I self harmed after I hadn’t in years I cannot take a shower or eat anything . I just have been laying down . Feeling very depressed and thoughts of unalive , I don’t have any active plan as I don’t have a way to even do it unless I were to bleed to death. I know I’m going to get over it so I don’t need to hear that.