Depression after abortion

Hey everyone I'm in a terrible state at the moment. I thought I was making the best decision for my family but I've just broken my heart and I can't talk to my partner about it I'm crying nearly all day everyday, I hate myself, regret my decision and have an unhealthy obsession with trying to get pregnant again. I got a depo provera shot the day of my abortion (1 week ago) have just purchased some St. John wort because I read online it makes the shot less effective. I've been looking at prenatal vitamins and ovulation test kits. I really don't know why I am like this. I know it sounds so silly why did I get abortion when I didn't want one but if I'm being honest at the point I wasn't ready to make a decision and I feel like I was just going with the flow and not thinking. I was so sick with morning sickness, tired, and caring for a 2 year old, stressed. Now I'm even more stressed, anxious, depressed. I need help, words of wisdom, supportive words, advice.

And yes my partner was 100% supportive with which ever decision I wanted to make. But I couldn't communicate with him at the time about it I asked him not to talk to me about it because it was making me cry and so he gave me the space I asked for at the time. Now I see (after abortion) I should have talked it over with him prior so he knew where my head was at and could help me with the decision making.