Feeling stupid

I told myself I wouldn’t stalk my ex boyfriend’s social media.. well I clearly didn’t keep my word and now I feel stupid. I hurt my own feelings and now him and these girls are stuck in my mind. It’s been a little over a month since we’ve broken up, I guess I’m hurt because I’m not talking to anyone, not in a relationship, don’t have friends, not close with family, I literally have no one and it sucks.. while hes over there “living his best life” smoking, drinking, sleeping around/ on the path of getting into a relationship , hanging with friends etc.

I dread waking up everyday and wish I could sleep all day. I’m not sad over the breakup/him (he wasn’t a good person and I broke up with him and ignored his attempts at getting back with me) I guess I just don’t like that he’s moved on with other people and I haven’t… hookup culture isn’t for me though, I want a relationship. I guess I’m just venting.. it’s tempting and hard to get out of that habit but I’m trying.. my heart dropped when I saw what I saw.

Edit- I do feel as though I’m over him, I cried once since we’ve broken up although I do feel as though the sad music played a part into that, we broke up 5+ times in the 9 months we dated, everyone said I could do better and deserved better, I gave more than what I got and KNOW for a fact I’ll NEVER go back. I do agree if I actually had people in my life/ had a life I’d probably feel better :( . I’ve never really had consistent friends though… it’s hard to make friends as an adult