Spotting after sex ( vaginismus )

I have vaginismus & It’s been a year since I’ve had intercourse. (You can barely get a pinky in me without me clenching). I’ve had sex with a guy, first time it was really hard to get him inside of me but i think i got really excited and forced it in faster than i should’ve (i think i wasn’t wet enough or prepared as i shouldve Ben) and he went at a fast pace (that i also wanted). Spotted lightly for about a week (subtle light pinkish/brownish) /// Last night we had sex again but we went very slow and patient with some water based lube. It took 5 whole minutes to get him in naturally with no rush. Once i got adjusted, he did go at a normal to fast pace once i was comfortable. He’s really thick circumference wise (fingers don’t touch when i wrap my hand around him) and slightly big but I’ve had a size like him before and took it roughly but then again i was more sexually actively…ofc I’m spotting again the following afternoon. What’s wrong with me ? :(