which do you think is right?

Question

say your life is messed up completely. you’ve got depression, severe anxiety, barely any money, addictions. but you like this person romantically. would you better yourself before pursuing them, or still date them while you work on yourself. in this hypothetical, the person you’re pursuing is down to be with you no matter what, but leaves the choice up to you. what would you do?

Answer

Better myself 
This sounds like a recipe for codependency and insecurities within the relationship

Answer

I would suggest you are not actually capable of seeing someone for who they are if you are not on yourself. Fix you for YOU, and then pursue something if you still think it’s appropriate when you have a clear mind.

Answer

I would see if they would be interested in friendship while I worked on myself.

Answer

I would seek therapy and help for addiction, put me first before pursuing a relationship. I don’t think someone has to be this completely healed person in order to be in a relationship but they should do the work before trying to pursue something that is work on too of it. That’s not healthy.

Answer

I would better myself first. Especially with the addiction part. If you plan to get sober off of whatever your addicted to you. When you do you may not be as interested in him after all.

Answer

I avoid dating when I feel like I can't handle it, but I guess it depends on who I'm dating. 
I'd say I'm almost always a mess, working on it the whole time- but I avoided dating when I was having a psychotic breakdown because I didn't feel like I could be trusted, and didn't know if I could live up to the standards I set for myself. 
I think if you can't conduct yourself properly in a relationship, you shouldn't be in one, but for calmer things like depression and anxiety, I think you just need to pick a partner who can handle it, be supportive, but without trying to fix you. 
With addiction, despite having dated addicts, I don't think I would feel stable enough for a relationship. I've never been an addict, though.

Answer

Ita hard for a stable relationship to withstand these issues let alone a new relationship.  I would better myself first in hopes of having a better relationship

which do you think is right?

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