This is probably going to be pretty long but I don’t know what else to do anymore. I feel HOPELESS and I feel like most people I try talking to don’t understand what I’m going through. I met my husband about 5 years ago and we have 2 babies, 3 year old and 1 year old. In the beginning he was a very well mannered person very sweet and caring and very funny person, that’s what drew me to him. Once we started dating tho I started to notice how he was always “sad” or mostly in a “bad “ mood he never really showed me any time of excitement or happiness like even when we could be doing the most fun thing in the world it’s like he never let himself enjoy anything, he started to show a lot of jealousy, like I couldn’t even wear any makeup anywhere because he would make me feel horrible about how I was just looking for attention. But at the same time, he seemed like very insecure in himself, no matter how much reassurance I gave him it was always how he was “not enough” . Eventually he “got out” of that phase. We had our first and I feel like that’s when he got emotionally abusive, this is why I feel like no one understands because no one really sees it as abuse and I don’t even know if it is abuse, but I’m driving myself crazy questioning everything. He does this thing where he’ll do or say something to hurt my feelings or upset me then I’ll confront him about it and he’ll ignore it or not really say much, so I’m left upset and this can go on for days and when I finally bring it up again a day later or two because I’m clearly hurt by it, he immediately says “here we go again, here you go starting this shit again” and he thinks I just wanna fight, I don’t want to fight, I want him to understand how he hurts me, then during the argument he’ll say something like “you never own up to your mistakes or you never take accountability for what you do” but yet I ask what did I do to him and he never has a legit answer it’s always “I’m tired of telling you” or “see this is exactly what I mean you’ll do anything to be right, all you care about is being right, so don’t sit there and make it seem like you care about the marriage” sooooo at the end of our conversation of me trying to tel him how he hurt me it always ends with that how I never take accountability even when the situation has nothing to do with me hurting him in the first place. This has been going on for 5 years now, there was a time last year when we went 8 months without seeing each other because I was done, but he begged and begged and told me he had changed and even described the way he had treated me exactly the way it had happened so I now he understood the way he acted was wrong but after 8 months I finally gave him a chance again and for the first 2 months everything was fine, we’re in our 4th month being back together and he’s being that way with me again, all he sees from me is “nagging and complaining, even if I just told him if he can take out the trash” to him that must mean that I’m calling him a horrible husband, but all I did was ask for help taking out the trash. I’m a stay at home mom and he’s in the army, he makes me feel bad if I take the girls to the park a lot or go to the gym because he has jealousy issues. But he says mean things to me and then when I tell him he hurt me he tells me to just please stop trying to fight, even when I’m sitting there crying to his face, he doesn’t cry doesn’t show emotion he’s so calm and passive aggressive the way he does things but he almost knows that I will drive myself crazy over it. I don’t know what to do anymore, our last shot was therapy that we’ve been doing for 3 months now and I feel like he’s not really tying it’s more of a bother, and he told me last night that if I keep lying to the therapist about what goes on then he won’t do it no more…… but I haven’t lied these are things that I cry myself to sleep over, why would I lie???