Ultrasound and his rejection

For all those saying “he should have been better at preventing her getting pregnant” is missing the point and is acting like birth control methods don’t fail. I actually think OP is wrong for assuming how he would act and I’m sure that’s what’s making this situation far more stressful. You need to let him have his time to process everything and expecting him to be ok with everything is just unreasonable. You expect support and I’m sure he does as well, so it has to be a two way street.

Why was he having unprotected sex with you if he feels this strongly about this 🙄

I’m not going to tell you what to do, and I do think he has valid feelings too, but he’s just as responsible for getting you pregnant as you are for being pregnant. HE decided this as much as you when he didn’t wrap it!!

He has a right to his feelings just as you have a right to yours. It has been only one month he is still around and even coming with you to your doctor's appointment if he absolutely wouldn't want to be a part of it he wouldn't bother with it. Also he obviously had different plans for your future and he will have to let go of some, this can be very hard to do. Especially if it something you have worked half of your life for it. I believe it is only fair for you to give him some time to process the whole situation and see how to approach it once the baby is here. It is obviously much easier for you accept the situation because you are the one that made the decision about it. To ask him to change his feelings and be happy over night about a life changing decision he had no say in is asked for too much. If the situation would have been the other way around I don't think you would have been all that happy either.

Give it time my now husband felt the same way about our third child at first he came around. We wasn't married at the time and he honestly didn't want anymore children at that moment. Here we are three years later married n a fourth child on the way. We all have the right to our feelings it's okay I am sure it will work out n the end of not then u just do your best to raise your child n it's him who will have to answer to his issues wen the child is older

Honestly,you found out what, a month ago? This is a HUGE spin on life, I actually think going from abortion to what he said is progress. Give it time and space, dont bring it up every few days, give it another month or so to simmer. Try not to be angry, because it will not work if you guys cant even have a friendship or like each other. Yoyr body is changing, you can FEEL this pregnancy,it is part of you, your heart is fully invested. This pregnancy is very much outside of him, it is in his head, thoughts, and worries, but not his heart yet. Even with our pregnancies planned and wanted, my husband and I responded so differently early on....I actually asked him if he regretted getting pregnant, I thought my question was valid based on his actions (he seemed very indifferent and unexcited) and he was confused and surprised by my question! But hes an awesome dad. I know your situation is different with it not being planned, but Im just saying give it time and understand where his freak out is coming from....to him, this baby is still a hypothetical, it's in his head, and hes defensive.

I agree with above , this is my thing If he didn't want another a child or a child then he should be doing whatever he needs to prevent it . Bottom line is u didn't get pregnant alone and if u choose to raise this baby alone then u should. It's better to have 1 parents that truly loves them then 2 parents and 1 one that doesn't? I am sorry u are going this but don't sit there and YOU sacrifice your happiness over this baby bc your upset about HOW HE FEELS! Because from what I see he doesn't really care about your happiness or the how u feel about this baby . And it's not about him. In my opinion his mind is made up and u are going to have to make a choice that u may not want to . Good luck hun 😘

Your body , your baby !! I have been in this type of situation and you shouldn’t feel guilty at all for wanting your baby !! . Trust me going the other road was so hard for me and wish I just listened to myself and this time I am. He sounds very selfish and self centred. Do what makes you happy x

I think he just needs some time. He will come around.

Just be prepared to raise baby solo. I would start to save as much money as you can. Like more than you already are. Times your normal savings by two at least if possible. Just as a buffer. Also, I’m not trying to freak you out at all. I’m just being honest with you as Ive been through this. Just be ready for when the baby is born, even if you two split up

that he might change his mind. And want to have baby half the time. As their father he could do that. So if I were you so would breastfeed baby to keep them with you as long as possible in the early days. Just some advice I wish I could help you out more. But you can’t make a man want to be a good father. I though my sons father was an amazing Dad. Then out of seemingly nowhere he just left when our son wasn’t even 2 years old. He stayed away and didn’t see him for almost a full year. Now he’s back around sporadically just trying to see his son in my opinion to show off for his girlfriend. It’s absolutely been traumatic for my son. Who is 4.5 now. It’s extremely hard to do this alone but with some support it’s doable. I don’t regret having my son. He’s my whole world and I love him more than anything and anyone on this planet. I know I don’t know you but I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I’m rooting for you. I hope you have a better guy than I did. Hopefully he will change his mind and end up being a great father. But just try to protect yourself and baby no matter what.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I’m sorry he’s not being supportive. I’m sure it’s hard, but try and keep in mind that it’s still very early and some people that have this reaction this early on (even women) will change their minds later on. I’m not saying he will, but he might. It can be harder for men to wrap their head around, especially when it’s an unplanned pregnancy, because they may not feel any connection towards the baby until they’re literally holding them in their arms. They don’t feel that instant bond that some mothers feel when they first find out because they’re still kind of disconnected from it all. Feeling like you will have to give up your career or make major sacrifices when a baby is coming is common but not necessarily true at all.

At this point it really all comes down to you and your mental health. You need to decide if you will be able to stay with him throughout your pregnancy if his mood doesn’t change until birth or if it doesn’t change at all. He has the right to feel how he does but your emotions also matter a lot right now. I wouldn’t say leave because he’s not supportive outright, but I wouldn’t say stay in hopes he will change his mind either. You’ll have to decide what you can handle and want. Therapy could be a good place to start if you two would like to stay together and work through this.