I should be happier we made to 12 weeks and baby is healthy. Somehow I am so sad and don't feel like I can talk to anyone. I want to but that would cause more harm than good. I thought having a baby would bring us closer since he wanted it so bad. The antidepressants to curb his stress and OCD but there are tons of side effects (no sex, isolation, lack of emotions, insomnia, sleeping in seperate beds) and I feel like he has changed and yet he cannot see it. He no longer feels the same for me. He says it is how I react to things. I just want him to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. I lash out at him because I am hormonal and hurt from things we said that cannot be taken back. He told me if I lost the baby hed leave me in the heat of anger. Now he apologizes and said he wanted me to wake up and he never meant it. I just cant forget it. I feel hurt and as I get a rounder belly I feel more sad. Now I just feel having a baby is not going to solve anything. I would give up everything just to have us back but he is more concerned about the baby and not me it feels. I told him i want to go to a conselor... he agrees but he wants to wait until i have the baby because he is worried it will cause stress on the baby. I am worried I cannot wait that long. I told him last night I cry myself to sleep every single night alone. I know once I have the baby I will love him but I cannot help but feel like the love between my husband and I is no longer and don't know what has happened. A baby deserves happy parents. We work together full time with the stress of our own business and have to keep that image up and the clients coming in to pay the bills. Personal life has taken a back burner and I feel like we are pretty much roomates. If it wasn't for the baby I am not sure we'd still be together. Time to put a smile on at Christmas and pretend everything is wonderful. Does anyone else feel like this?