Does this ever get easier?

Every time, every time, I am blamed for my son’s behavior. He has a couple of diagnoses. Autism, ADHD, ODD, and SPD. He’s a wonderfully intelligent child but has extreme behavioral problems.

I try to give him normal childhood experiences. We take him to stores, restaurants, parks, etc. Sometimes he does well, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he shrieks and runs away, rolls on the ground and screams. Sometimes he doesn’t. But I’m always looked at like “how dare I bring such a child into public”. As if he should be locked away and not allowed to experience things or see the world.

He has a tendency to run. He has escaped our house a few times. We have motion sensing cameras installed and deadbolts on the doors but occasionally he will find a way to grab a kitchen chair unnoticed (early in the morning before anyone else is up) and unlatch the deadbolt. Of course I am blamed for that. How dare I sleep and go to the bathroom and shower and take care of basic human needs. It’s my fault he went into the backyard undetected for 10 min.

It’s my fault he only eats about 10 foods

My fault he doesn’t sleep well

My fault he screams and fights

I do my very best but it just feels like no one is on my side. I’m just blamed for his entire existence.