Where is my village?

I’m just realizing at 34 that my family dynamic isn’t what I thought. I thought I was just the black sheep and felt so fundamentally flawed and that’s why I never quite fit in with my family. After my dad passed last year, I realized how toxic my mother has been and that I’m not inherently bad, it’s just her making me feel crappy and crazy. She has never been diagnosed but I firmly believe she falls on the narcissist spectrum. We are currently living with her while we were planning to build a house, but now that is getting delayed. I don’t know how much longer my mental health can last. I do so much alone. My husband works 3rd shift and works a lot. I have a 3 and 1 year old and work full time. After my dad passed I got through and am trying to get through with only the help of my husband but he is rarely around. But then I have my mom and sister who are with each other every day and meet up with other family once or twice a week. My mom regularly babysitting so my sister can meet friends or get her hair done, while she rarely offers that for us. I know that is better I am not around the negativity but yet I want so badly to have a support group. I realized I really put friends at a distance because I’m afraid of people hurting me. My own family disregards my emotions and needs so why would friends be different? But I want someone to call when things go wrong with the house building who can actually help comfort me and talk me through solutions. I want someone when I am sick to say hey can I help with the kids so you get a break. Text me something funny that happened to them. Or someone to text and ask how I am doing because they were thinking about me. Or someone to ask how I am coping after losing my dad. And I know I have to open myself up to make friends but at this age and with lake of free time, it seems so unlikely..not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this, but it felt nice to put my emotions into words