I haven't stopped crying since I found out
Late last night, I noticed blood when I wiped. At first, I thought it was implantation bleeding, but there was too much of it. I took a pregnancy test a few hours later, and it came back negative.
Why, after 5 bfps, would my period come? I feel like my body has played the absolute worst trick on me. I've been wanting this so badly, that having a baby was all I could think about.
In those three days I was supposedly pregnant, I felt like a mom already. I already had names picked out, I was shopping on amazon for picture frames for my first ultrasound, I was thinking of neat ways to tell my mom and family that I was having my first child.
But now I can't.
So, now I'm back to square one.
I don't want to be pregnant if this is going to happen every time. I can't even look at pictures of babies without bawling my eyes out and thinking about what my Penelope or Ethan would've looked like.
I'm so depressed. I'm not going to be leaving my room for a very long time. I'm not going to be trying for another baby for a very long time. It's just not worth it.
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