Ok…long story short as I can make it.

I was with a man for 5 years from 2017-2022. We got engaged but he cheated after 2 years of the engagement and we broke up this past March. He is also a very very bad alcoholic, but was as gentle as a bluebird. We suffered to miscarriages during our relationship, though, and those were difficult to bounce back from for him.

At my job, I work with volunteers who need to raise money for their nonprofit organizations. I met a young man who clearly had a little crush on me. Of course I didn’t entertain it because I was happy in my relationship. However, in the back of my head, I knew if my fiancé ever fucked up, the man I met was exactly where I was going. I was so drawn to him, his spirit, his personality.

Anyway, after my fiancé and I split, I reached out to that guy I met at work. I was told by a family member of his that he was going through some things and needed some positivity and happiness from a good person and she thought I’d be able to cheer him up. I did, and God lined it up perfectly. He had gotten out of a toxic relationship, too (I had absolutely NO idea he was even with someone). But anyway, about 2 weeks after I reached out, we hung out for the first time. The first thing he did was protect my spirit from the turmoil and darkness I felt was at my home with my ex and his new girlfriend. Yes, she pursued a man who was engaged, but there is something else about her, something dark in that girl and she didn’t sit right with my spirit. She seemed to enjoy the thrill, and didn’t care to cause pain and turmoil. There was a vacancy in her eyes when I met her. But anyway…

So my current boyfriend made sure I never went back there. We had known of each other for a couple of years, but never ever spoke until then. I haven’t spent a night away from him since we got together except one. I probably shouldn’t have done this, but I did. We slept together the very first night and it was AMAZING. Like…I fainted in the middle of it. My God.

Anyway, come to current day: I’m now 11+2 weeks pregnant. On Friday of last week, I got dressed up, did my hair and makeup, and wanted to look pretty. He swore he saw me texting my ex when I was walking out of the door and getting into the car. He says he saw my phone and my exes text thread was up but I backed out of it when I got into the car. I didn’t. The ONLY way that could’ve happened is because I never lock my phone and during all the shuffling, I accidentally went to that text thread.

Long story short: he isn’t confident that the baby is his. My heart is absolutely broken 💔 with this. I fell for this man fast and I fell hard and for him to think I’d even entertain the thought of being impregnated by my ex makes me wanna vomit. He’s the only man I’ve been with in the last 5 years outside of my fiancé. He’s withdrawn, barely speaks to me, doesn’t acknowledge any texts I send about the baby…nothing. He’s confident I was going to see my ex that day and God knows I wasn’t. I’m hurt but I know he’s also worried, overwhelmed and scared. He’s going through quite a lot outside of me and the baby, and I’m sure this just sent him into a downward spiral. He already has a son who was taken from him because his kid’s mother moved 8 hours away because she “didn’t have friends here.” I guess he’s worried to get attached and this not be his child (but it 100% is, I’m tempted to have him get a NIPP test). He barely acknowledges me, it’s like that broke him. When he thought he saw me texting my ex, he went into a full on panic: shaking, crying, and I could see his entire world was falling apart. Is there anything I can do to reassure him? He’s important to me and I care deeply for him. He’s 100% the father of this baby, absolutely no doubt, no maybe, no what if, no well how about…100% his baby. He doesn’t even hold me at night anymore. He’s not mean when we talk, but we barely talk. It’s breaking my heart.